The Great Compromise

Several single Christian women have been there. Yes, even I considered it…hooking up with an unbeliever who rejects the gospel that I love. Why? There is something about a lonely heart and a weary mind that can lead us to believe foolishness.

I never intended on abandoning my service to God to take up with a man who didn’t believe. I had this idea that I could change him. I could be the spiritual influence he needs in his life. Now I know that all day long the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. But my ego got in the way and I saw my circumstance as “special”.

God promised Abraham and Sarah that He would give them a child in their old age. However, they just couldn’t let it go at that. They had to reason the situation on their own. The promise seemed impossible. God appeared to be late in His timing. God promised me in prayer some five years earlier that He would bless me to be married. My thought pattern was the same as Abraham and Sarah.

Did God forget about me?

I’d been single so long that it seemed unattainable to find a single, loving, attractive, funny, intelligent, responsible man of God. As the years passed and I went from my early twenties to mid-twenties, the pickens seemed to get slim. It felt like going to a 12 hour sidewalk sale in the eleventh hour. Everything in your size and favorite colors are gone. So you wonder to the 80% off rack and buy three Thanksgiving Day sweatshirts from three years ago just so you don’t feel defeated walking out with nothing. Well…okay…maybe only I do that. (Smile)

It was hard trusting God’s promise; even knowing that He did in fact bless Sarah to give birth to Isaac in her old age. But, I tried to help God anyway. The extent of my pursuit to have a relationship with an unbeliever went as far as a few dinners. Strong feelings for this person began to grow but the Holy Ghost would not let my heart be settled with him. His thinking process, his beliefs, and his actions rubbed the Spirit of God in me the wrong way.

Do not ignore the warning the Spirit gives. Women often end up getting pulled out of the church instead of pulling the man in. If he does attend a few church services don’t start rejoicing yet. He may ask you to do some things in return for his visits to your church. Things you know is not in God’s will. I’ll skip the details. Summed up, it’s called compromise.

Realizing that the end result of this relationship would conclude in me loving a man that doesn’t love God, finally put the brakes on for me. If I gave my life and my time to this man with no hope for a future in Christ with him, I would end up hurt, alone, and separated from God. You can tell in the first few conversations you have with an unbelieving man whether or not he’s going to be real about his pursuits toward God and the church. Until he decides to get real, you better get separated.

Don’t be unequally yoked.

And be careful of the advice you get when it comes to dating and courtship. Line up the advice you receive with the Word of God. If the advice is contrary, don’t follow it! I say this because others will want to help you help God.

Newsflash: God does not need our help.

Don’t be troubled about the timing of God’s deliverance. When has He ever failed? Don’t compromise the special thing you and God have going on. The cost is too high. We’re talking about your integrity, soul, and happiness here.

Be inflexible and adamant about waiting on the Lord for true love.

He will be worth the wait!

Uncompromising and standing on the promises of God,

Miss Love In Waiting


7 thoughts on “The Great Compromise

  1. Just curious about what Christian single mean when they say they are “hooking up” or say things like “to take up with a man” when talking about dating.
    Not dating an unbeliever of course, but in the course of dating a fellow Christian, do those terms mean like they do the way that most people use those terms?
    Hooking up to most people, doesn’t mean to just date, but to actually have sexual relations, and “to take up with a man” to most women, means to date seriously or live with a man which does include sex.

    So as a Christian single woman, are you holding off on having sex until marriage, or are you one of the “new Christians” who love God and the bible, but have sex outside of being in a loving, committed, and married partnership with a man?

    Just curious because this is something that I think about when looking to date someone new, I wonder if it’s ok to have sex but still love God and follow the word.

    1. I’m not really familiar with the term “new Christian”, but I do know that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His Word (the Bible) does not change. They may believe in God and the Bible, but only those who follow Christ (submit and obey the Bible) are Christians (true worshippers). True worshippers worship God in Spirit and in Truth.

      When using the phrase “hooking up”, I don’t mean have sex. The world uses the the phrase to describe a sexual relationship, but that does not apply to the church. My thought in this blog is, to be careful and not get emotionally tied to one who is not a Christian. When spending a lot of time (going to dinner, talking on the phone, etc.), feelings can begin to grow. And as feelings grow one can be persuaded to turn away from the Christian standard of living that pleases God. If that occurs, the main issue is no longer choosing a mate. The number one priority is repentance and turning back to God.

      I am a Christian single who believes that sex was created for marriage. I desire to date one who believes and practices the same. “Christian” dating/courtship, should in no way, shape, or form involve having sex. Refer to 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2. In our society, sex outside of marriage and living together is seen as acceptable and the norm, but it is not normal for a believer in Christ Jesus to practice these things.

      Hope this answers your questions!

      God bless and thank you for reading!

  2. I really identified my self with your blog. Thanks for sharing. I truly believe that is naive to think that spending time and calls with an unbeliever for who you may have feelings is going to stop there, especially when you are in the waiting time. As women Is easy to get attach emotionally, feel in love and compromise yourself. But I just have a concern about how to handle this situations and I would like to see your point of view in this regard.

    Certainly God does not need our help to save anyone but I am worried that we may be the obstacle to allow the salvation of someone. I said that because in my case, the only close approach that at the time an unbeliever guy got from a Christian woman or if you want to extrapolate of God was me.

    Since I saw the possibility of my self developing feelings for him I was directed to the point and told him that could be very difficult for us to move forward since we did not share the same believes.

    Everything stopped there. However; I am not sure if I did right, no only because perhaps I gave him the wrong impression of God, but even worst because I could be the reason to make him to run away from God.

    Looking forward for your feedback. Thanks!

    1. God bless you Paola! We must trust that God is in control and has all power. It is God that does the saving and gives the increase. We must desire for ourselves to be saved. If we do, God is able to save us no matter what anyone else does or says. Be confident in how God leads you.

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