Does God Care Who I Marry?

Does God care who I marry? 

Does God care about who I date? Will He really write my love story?

The frustration or sorrow you may feel right now will not last always.  I waited for many years, but you can trust that there are no flaws in God’s plan and He knows exactly what He is doing…for you.

God cares about who you date, how you date, and who you marry, because He cares about you.

I don’t care who disagrees.  There are some who are misleading Christian single men and women.

They are persuading them that God does not care about who, when, or if they marry.  As if God is far out in the distance and He is unable to see the place in life where you are.

They suggest that you take matters into your own hands and leave God out of the equation. They offer this remedy so you do not have to “wait” any longer.

They encourage you to find a fast fix for the tears you cry instead of looking to God for contentment.

I’ve heard it all before….

You don’t have to seek and wait on God for marriage.

Marriages likely end up in a divorce so waiting is vain.

Lower your standards and then you can marry.

Compromise your convictions or you’ll be waiting forever.

Find someone you can reasonably get along with and make it work. 

Being “happily married” is not a reality anyway.

Your past is questionable. Better take whoever you can get.

It’s better to have a toxic relationship than none at all.

These statements are commonplace yet full of deception. 

God Cares.

God cares about your sorrow and concern regarding your singleness.  As we ponder the question, does God care who I marry, we must remember that God designed love and marriage.

Why would He not want to be included in the design of your love life.  Can He not make it all that you ever dreamed of? Can God not exceed your expectations?  Of course He can.

Jesus loves you and gave His live that yours may be abundant. Let God have full control, even if it means waiting a little while longer.  It will be worth it from the start.

Although none are perfectly hidden from the exposure of hurt, God does not want you bearing unnecessary heart breaks and disappointments. There are some hurts we suffer that were never meant to be. And though He can turn things around for our good, God had a better plan all along.

This often comes when we start relationships without the hand of God to guide us.  The immediate payoff is a man by our side, but we can’t always see the dangers that lie ahead. We can not always discern the true intent of someone’s heart.

However God knows the hearts of all men. And He knows how those hearts can change.

God cares and desires to lead you to the love that will walk in agreement with your purpose. He knows where true love is and He knows when the time is right.

God sees the details.  He knows where the relationship pitfalls are and how you can avoid them.  

He can give you the best love affair of your life and a marriage that will defy all odds. Will you trust Him?

God has the plan to make this possible.

Go to Jesus for everything.  Trust in Him for a whole and healthy single life.  God has more in store for you than what you have prayed for.  

No, God has not forgotten you. He cares about things concerning you.

Candra Brightwell-Evans

Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.

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18 thoughts on “Does God Care Who I Marry?

  1. TRUTH. I waited for my husband..and trusted God completely when he brought us together. He has turned out to be my PERFECT partner..because God does truly care. I agree 100 percent!!! Thanks for spreading this truth and God bless xo

  2. I totally agree with you! This post was very inspirational. I have heard so many stories in which God has provided people with the perfect spouses because they waited in him and did not let anyone change their mind. I am waiting and praying that God sends me the perfect husband one day.

  3. I’m happy for you. Although being a single woman at 36 yrs, and never had a date or boyfriend at that let alone being proposed to….Well!

    Of course I know God can do anything and will bring along my future spouse someday. However I strongly wonder if I will receive it with “all joy” when it happens. I am sort of loosing the interest in it all now having waited this long. It would have been nice to settle down at a nice and decent age not at a time when the wedding guests would be exclaiming “finally” or “at long last” in their minds.

    Having been through one heartbreak or another too doesn’t particularly help. But good on you for finding Mr Right. I only wish God would also cast me a glance too lol.

    Tired and hurting so bad you can’t even begin to imagine!.

    1. Thank you so much for reading my blog. I really know how you feel. I would love so much to tell you that God will send your husband today. But God may have a different plan. One thing is for sure, though. God’s plan is always better. I wanted to be married at age 24 or 25…not 36. But that wasn’t God’s plan for me. Howevery, until my wedding day, God did plan for me to be blessed and prosper in Him. He did plan for me to have a deeper relationship with Him.

      After sooooo many years of hurting and disappointments, I got tired. My husband was no where to be found, but I didn’t want to hurt anymore. And God wanted me to be grateful for what He had done for me. I was single. That wasn’t a death sentance, just my relationship status. 🙂 It wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, it was the beginning. I traveled with God. I ate with God. I made as many friends as I could (even though I’m shy). I tried different things until I found something I could be passionate about and then I jumped into the deep end of it.

      I can’t promise you will find your husband today, but I’m confident you can find joy and healing in Jesus.

      Thanks again for your comment. Are you on Facebook? You can find me at
      You can also subscribe to my new blog site for podcasts and video blog

      God bless you!

  4. I have to comment… i am 47 years old and am single. I have been married before with relationships resulted in abuse, divorce and many other issues that go along with these pains.

    i love that your blog emphasizes waiting. i think that there is a difference between simply waiting and actrually longing for Gods will.

    waiting requires listening, long suffering and watching and discerning.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I am currently working on a new podcast regarding waiting on God. It’s just a few thoughts on what is involved when waiting on God. I hope to have it published this week.

      I agree that waiting on God requires much action.

      Many blessings to you!

  5. Thank you so much, I am so enjoying your blog. I have tears in my eyes as some things just are so close to home. You certainly can identify with singles. I love this post and I do believe God cares about who you marry. I believe He has the perfect one. What I want to ask is what do you do if God shows you the man you are to marry long before he shows the man? I have heard of this happen to a few people and I believe it has happened to me but the guy still does not seem interested in any sort of relationship – we are in our 30’s/40’s and neither of us has been married before. I am finding this waiting so difficult but I keep on feeling God telling me that it is from Him and to wait and trust Him and it will come to pass. I am trying to carry on with my life, grow in my relationship with God and keep moving forward but sometimes the pain just seems to get too much.

    1. Thank you for writing and participating in the poll!

      Your question is very good and I want to respond without attempting to answer (if that makes any sense) :). Unfortunately I am no relationship expert. If I were in your shoes I would seek guidance from my pastor or a trusted minister. I was blessed to have a pastor who’s doors were always open. Talking with him would often calm the fears that I had about being single. Plus it increases my faith to have someone else to have faith with me, and to agree with me regarding a promise from the Lord. While I am waiting on God for anything, even after He has showed me the blessing, I still ask Him for daily guidance and direction. Because I don’t want to hinder whatever good thing He has for me. If God says it will come to pass, we must walk in faith. If we truly believe we will not be anxious or afraid, but we will rejoice as if it is already done! 🙂 I will certainly be praying with you. I believe God will strengthen your heart and keep you on the road to your blessing! God bless you!

  6. Thanks for your response. I agree with everything you’ve said. As I commented on one of your other posts, I actually do have a number of people I am walking with, one being one of our pastors wives, who I have shared my feelings in this regard with. I think my problem is that thing of walking in faith, it seems like so often when I feel God has promised me something I want to take things into my own hands and make it happen. I guess I’m a bit of a control freak and just waiting and trusting God doesn’t really come naturally to me, however I know that by taking control I actually make things worse. I do pray about it regularly, if not daily, and especially when I will be seeing him.

    1. I don’t know if waiting is easy for anyone. I certainly have a hard with it at times. Now that I am married there are more things to wait on God for. But God always blesses in great abundance! 🙂

  7. Anon I totally understand where you are coming from. A Christian woman actually told me about this website because I sent her a message saying I am tired and I feel like God is not answering my prayers even though I am obedient to him. I am 28, still a virgin and waiting. I am at the point where I don’t know if it will ever happen even though I am waiting on God. I listened to Chris Fabry live yesterday 4/2/12 and this lady talked about how she is 52, still a virgin and waiting on God (you can find it online streaming). I am thinking, would that be me at 52? I know Christian women that married men that will go to Church with them(not committed Christians), and they did fornicate with these men (don’t get me wrong fornication is a sin, but so is lying, stealing, coveting, or something as little as running a red light), but they married and happy. I am living this life for God, does that mean I will never be blessed and be that 52yr old woman, even though marriage is a strong desire of my heart?

    1. Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment! 🙂

      I can relate to your concern about time and age. After I turned thirty years old I wondered the same thing. I know a few women who married in their forties and they stayed on my mind constantly. I was scared that I would have the same fate. I had someone younger than me say that they sure hope they will not be unmarried at my age. Now that truly depressed me. Outside of feeling lonely, the worry about time was a huge burden for me. I tend to struggle with the art of patience anyway. Then one night, God challenged me…or at least it felt like a challenge. He asked me if I would still love Him. Would I..could I…still love Jesus without a man. Could I without children? Was God enough to make me happy? Well, how could I answer no? So I told the Lord, “yes.” But then I realized that my attitude was not matching up with my answer. My attitude was saying, No God, you are not enough to make me smile. You are not enough to brighten my day.

      There is a time for sorrow and a time to desire. But I made desire and sorrow my full time gigs. It nearly drove me to the grave, and I had to remind myself to go after God’s grace. I begged and pleaded to God for comfort. I screamed to God for comfort sometimes. And comfort always came to me. As long as I kept going to God, and living for Him, He never ceased to give me the strength to endure.

      Living for God is never in vain. Those who have sinned and returned to God are blessed, yes. However, there are always repercussions when we sin. It could be fornication or telling a lie. God forgives, but because sin is so incredibly horrid, it leaves it’s mark somewhere. Many times only we know all the details about it.

      The blessings of living a life that pleases God are manifold. I hear from single Christian men and women every week who are overcoming the battle of feeling less because they are single. They are living single, satisfied, and whole in Jesus. If they can do it, we all can do it. It may take calling on God with all of the strength and might that we have left, but we must do it. All real blessings come from Him.

      God bless you and much love,

  8. This post helped me to stay faithful to God even when Your hope has been crushed. I feel for the comments made by the other readers, its moving to see how God has blessed your leap into obedience after Him. Your blog has brought me alot of hope, today as I read your post it made me really consider my standards, it challenged me to keep praying, even tho no man that I have met meets these standards and I have had to say “no” to 2 serious relationships and 1 proposal – all for what I believe to be Gods standard, I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve laid in my bed contemplating wether or not I’ve made the right choices, in these moments I cry out to God, I have to trust in Gods sovereignty. Believing that the creator of the universe is certainly able to provide for me. That though I have been crushed by mean words have been spoken for my standards. Feel like I’m completely alone, not seeing a real answer to the way that I’m supposed to go. I cry out to God vindicate me, hold me in Your love as I follow You Lord please see my struggle, please hold me in the love of Your word, keep me in perfect peace as I lay my sacrifice before you- daily I lay my desire for marriage before You. Lord see the singles heart cry and come quickly to comfort.
    Psalm 18:16-19, 25-36, 39, 46-50

    He sent from on high, He took me;
    He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy,
    And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
    But the LORD was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place;
    He rescued me, because He delighted in me. With the kind You show Yourself kind;
    With the blameless You show Yourself blameless; With the pure You show Yourself pure,
    And with the crooked You show Yourself astute. For You save an afflicted people,
    But haughty eyes You abase. For You light my lamp;
    The LORD my God illumines my darkness. For by You I can run upon a troop;
    And by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is blameless;
    The word of the LORD is tried;
    He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the LORD ?
    And who is a rock, except our God, The God who girds me with strength
    And makes my way blameless? He makes my feet like hinds’ feet,
    And sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle,
    So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,
    And Your right hand upholds me;
    And Your gentleness makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me,
    And my feet have not slipped. For You have girded me with strength for battle;
    You have subdued under me those who rose up against me. The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock;
    And exalted be the God of my salvation, The God who executes vengeance for me,
    And subdues peoples under me. He delivers me from my enemies;
    Surely You lift me above those who rise up against me;
    You rescue me from the violent man. Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O LORD ,
    And I will sing praises to Your name. He gives great deliverance to His king,
    And shows lovingkindness to His anointed,
    To David and his descendants forever.

    1. here I am sobbing .I am unhappy for being alone so long.66 am so angry at God for this punishment bestold upon me.i have to do everything myself.somedays I want to die.i cry out for God to take me.sometimes I think of killing myself.if I wasn’t a christain I would be married.

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