Stop Encouraging Me!

[singlepic id=19 w=280 h=200 float=left] Some of you read the title and thought, “What is she blogging about now?”  Yet, have you ever felt this way?  Right when you are in the middle of a good “woe is me, I’m single” pity party, a married person comes to you with encouragement.

You try to turn that frown upside down, but you would pay anything for them to go away.  After all, you have a party to get back to.  You feel frustrated and discontent.  Am I alone?  Do I hear crickets?  Well I have been there and felt all of that.

There was never a polite way for me to say, “Get out of my face because I want to hurt right now!  How do you expect me to be happy right now?  It’s my right to be sad!  I don’t care that you’re married.  I’m not married!  Leave me alone!!!”

It is my recommendation to never fly into a rage like this if you can help it. 🙂  Even the dearest of friends may only put up with a bad attitude for so long.  Brace yourself and smile politely.  Place their words of encouragement somewhere in your memory bank because you will want them later.  Trust me.

Fortunately God knows how to remedy self pity and sorrow.  He can reach our hearts in ways that no one else can.

I remember thinking that if one more person tells me to be content, pray, or wait patiently, I will scream.  Sometimes I wanted to say, “I did that ten years ago and it isn’t working.  I’m still single.  What else you got?”

The advice of my loved ones was usually good and I applied them the best I could.  But some days the waiting was too much and my sorrow was too great.

Now here I am, writing a singles blog and I am sure that things I write tread on the nerves of those who are frustrated and tired of waiting.  They want marriage, not more inspiration for singles.

When we want something so badly, our human nature wants a quick fix.  The flesh has a “give it to me now” attitude.  We want God to put that miracle in the microwave and turn it up on high.

Let’s get this thing done so I can have WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW!

Then God shook me and had mercy on me.  He made my tears so bitter that I could hardly stand it anymore.  It was time to leave the pity party for good.  That was it for me.  I had enough.

After all, if God sent my husband at that time, what good would I have been to him?

I did not need another wake-up call.  I was ready to be strengthened in Jesus name.

There had to be another approach to waiting.  My mind needed liberty from the worry of it. Every part of me needed peace.

Could I enjoy my life while I was waiting?  Of course of I could!  Sounds a bit out of the box, but it just might work!

I invited God to occupy my heart not only for salvation but for relationship.

Deepening my relationship with God was medicine. It was my cure.

My heart was prepared for comfort by the words of friends and family.  Ironically, my ears were ready to listen but there was silence.  All that was left for me to do was reach back and remember. I remembered the words of my pastor, mother, friends, and members at my church.

The next step was for me to encourage myself in the Lord.  Then, from that day forward, walk completely in the spirit so the attitude of my flesh would not manifest again. God is a patient, generous, and a loving God. His grace is sufficient

May He help us to receive His encouragement and comfort while we are waiting for our blessings…

Be encouraged!

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10 thoughts on “Stop Encouraging Me!

  1. There are times when I have felt that way, not that anybody was encouraging me, but when I really, really wanted to get married very badly, I kept hearing “wait”. On the tv, in a song, on the radio…wherever I went, I heard “wait”. And I was hot mad, because I didn’t want to wait.

    I have since changed my mind. I will wait on the Lord.

    I’d rather wait for God to send me the right man, instead of me getting indignant and crazy and going out and finding some weirdo on my own.

    Great post, and thank you.

  2. Thank you for the encouragement. I have heard what you’ve spoken many times, but it helps to know that others have heard it too and have the same feelings. Some times the waiting seems unbearable. My pastor said last Sunday that God is more than any man can be for you. It was a good reminder to wait patiently and be content with what He has given to me. Thanks again!

  3. Wow this was truely a blessing to my soul. I am in this stage right now! I am single and I have always been single. I am 32 and I have never had a boyfriend or been on a date. I went thru all those stages you talked about and now I have realized what a blessing it is to be single. God has given me a testimony and I am grateful!!! God bless you! It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one!

  4. Then what can we as friends do or say to help people going through the same thoughts like you? I feel helpess when my friend is like that, and it’s hard to hold back so much words to encourage. But I also know I should have known when to stop.

    1. I think we all need encouragement…even if we don’t think so. So if I were you I would continue to encourage your friend. When my friends and family encouraged me, I did not always appreciate it at the time but later I understood that they wanted me to be optimistic and happy. I am now so thankful that they did not allow me to wallow in self pity. I have found that sometimes the best way to support someone is to just listen and understand and pray for them. God can reach us in ways that no one else can. Some friends made attempts to “fix” my singleness and that was not very helpful for me. More than anything I needed to be assured that I was not broken. God bless you and your friend… I will be praying! 🙂

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