Candra Addresses Christian Single Comments and Questions

Since I started writing this Christian singles blog back in 2009 I have received a ton of excellent feedback from readers across the globe.  Many of you have added rich content by leaving inspiring thoughts in the comments.  For that I want to say thank you.  I have been blessed to see the attitudes of Christian singles change from discouragement and despair to faith and joy.

In those times when we feel we are in a bit of a slump, God will send help from somewhere.  For this Kentucky native, God sent inspiration and friendship all the way from Alabama and Canada.  You all know who you are. 😉  So as long as I have God’s blessing, ability, and a medium to reach the masses, I pray to pass on the support that was given to me when I was single and struggling. 

In this post I wanted to publish my latest video blog.  Again, I receive fantastic feedback from readers.  I also receive really great questions.  In this video I address a question and concern that I see over and over again.  A heavy issue for singles who have been waiting on God for longer than expected, is the aspect of “waiting”.  This is especially difficult when we see others getting married who did not necessarily do it God’s way and they appear to be happy.  Another question I have seen often on several singles blogs is, “What do we do while waiting?”.

This video is only about ten minutes long, and these issues are very complex.  Therefore, I only touch on a few points and Lord willing, I will write more posts centered around these topics in the near future.

God bless you all and please keep the comments and questions coming. For others that would like to answer these concerns leave a comment below or visit our new Christian Singles Forum.

Go deeper in God’s Love and Grace,   …Candra Evans 

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9 thoughts on “Candra Addresses Christian Single Comments and Questions

  1. I think my comment in a previous post may have provoked the second topic in this video. Thank you so much for this personable response (I read your written response too). As a single woman the Lord has definitely revealed (and continues to reveal to me) my life’s work. I graduated from undergrad a few years ago wanting to attend med school, but couldn’t because I didn’t have the grades. The Lord has definitely given me a second chance. I’m in my last year of a post-bac program, am doing extremely well and God willing will be applying to medical school this year. It’s hard work, but such a blessing. It draws me closer to Christ. He’s also revealed to me certain gifts and talents that I want to make use of some day but applying to medical school, working and shyness sometimes get in the way.

    Anyway, I say all this to say that I believe I am doing the Lord’s will for my life at this moment. It’s by His grace and His grace only that I am as far along as I am. I used to pride myself in being a person who never experienced boredom or loneliness in her life. While I still have never been bored, I can say that for the last two years of my life I have felt loneliness. I realize that inthose moments I must call on The Lord and ask Him to comfort me. And He does! However, I also realize that He created other people to help fulfill some of our needs be it community, companionship, or even sex. I am a 26 year old virgin. I have to laugh at the people who say “you won’t die if you don’t have sex.” I take it that these people have had sex. Try telling that to someone who hasn’t. Sometimes I am so content waiting on The Lord. Others, not so much. I desire many things from peace, health, a sound mind, prosperity, and always being in His grace and mercy to a husband, children, and becoming a successful and effective physician. I no longer buy the “God will send your husband when you are ready and content” arguement. That suggests that God grants blessings on the basis of our merit and nothing could be further from the truth. None of us are ever ready or deserving. He operates by His plans, bot our readiness or contentment. I know the Lord is blessing me and working miracles in my life just as He is in he lives of others. It’s just that sometimes it feels that I have to wait so much longer and that pains me.

    1. I understand where you are coming from! I am a single, 33-year old virgin. Maybe it would help if I tell you, “You won’t die if you don’t have sex?” Sometimes it might push you to the brink of insanity, but you won’t die. It is, for me, one of the hardest things about being single. But the Lord gives more grace. I read a blog post once that encouraged singles to think of it as a fast of sorts, setting aside something that we need/desire in order to hear the Lord more clearly and to receive special grace from Him. Be assured that He honors your obedience!
      You are absolutely right in saying that God does not grant blessings on the basis of our merit. I know the pain of waiting for a long time, and the frustration inherent in virginity. As often as I have asked the Lord, “How much longer do I have to wait?” He has replied, “Just a little longer. My grace is sufficient.” The beautiful thing is that He has opened my eyes to see how much my heart is set on physical, earthly blessings and hopes rather than on His character, the glory of His kingdom, and the hope of heaven. There is always going to be pain in life over things we desire and don’t have, but God is big enough. Ultimately, there is nothing we need more than God, there is nothing and no one who can satisfy the way He does.

  2. It’s also important to note that I have my good days and my bad days. Thankfully, today has been a good day! =)

    1. God bless you. I apologize that I misunderstood your initial comment.

      Congratulations to you for all of your achievements. I love to hear the testimonies of my brothers and sisters in the Lord going after their dreams and fulfilling them. Keep pressing forward. There are many (including myself) that would love to have those kinds of accomplishments under our belts. I praise God for His blessing upon you.

      I appreciate you sharing that you call on the Lord when dealing with loneliness. I believe that is the best solution. Loneliness in marriage may be less frequent (although some married folks would argue that loneliness occurs just as much) however, it occurs. I hope every single can know this so that they won’t be devastated when they find themselves facing an issue alone or suddenly spending time alone because of their spouse’s state of affairs (which may not necessarily be due to grave situations). Its just that we are human. Christian singles like yourself are at a great advantage for they will take Christ into the marriage with them. A threefold cord is not easily broken. And yet while single, Christians possess the mightiest of all three cords.

      In regards to waiting I found this quote today…. “I never thought it was worth it, you know waiting for your love, and then I felt your kiss, I could wait forever for this” – Unknown

      🙂 Amen and love it!

  3. Yes, the topic of waiting on God’s timing for Christian singles is a difficult one. There’s certainly plenty of Scriptures that support waiting and trusting in God’s provision and timing for all things, including finding our partner. However, there are also plenty of Scriptures that support us pursuing things in life with God’s leading and discernment. As the old saying goes, “It’s easier for God to steer a moving car than a parked one.” For those who feel led to be more proactive, there are many great dating sites out there to facilitate the process. However, it’s important to use ones that are genuinely Christian owned and operated. The following link compares two top Christian sites and as you’ll see one is Christian owned and one is not. http://www.christiancrush.com/about/christian-mingle.php

  4. Thank you for your understanding and compassionate answers to these questions. They are answers I’ve also been seeking for and beginning to understand. I do see much doubt going on, sometimes in my own heart, sometimes with my friends, about whether the Lord will provide a mate. It is frustrating to see people you know haven’t been faithful to the Lord receiving that blessing when you are still single. I’ve often cried out to Him myself, “I’ve been following You and obeying You my whole life! How much longer do I have to wait?!” But I think this betrays a faulty understanding of God’s character and of morality. My good behavior/obedience are not a method of guaranteeing that I get what I want from God. In fact, they are no more than what is due! Marriage is a blessing, not a reward. Singleness is a blessing as well, though not many see it that way. But the moment I accept singleness as a blessing from the Lord, as His best means of growing me in sanctification at this moment, the moment I decide to trust His wisdom and goodness, I begin to grow in contentment. I’ve got to change the way I think about God’s blessings and my behavior!

    1. Excellent thoughts! Every blessing we receive from God comes because He chooses it to be so. The assurance we have behind that truth is that He loves His children so much! He never forgets or overlooks His children. God bless you and thank you!

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