Embrace Your Life

Embrace Your Life

Embrace your life.  Embrace your single life.  Many of you are already there but some are not; so please, let me explain.

For the last few months I have been on a healthy hair journey.  Over the years I have not valued or treasured the natural texture and color of my hair.  My natural hair is tightly coiled and has been “going gray” since my late teens.

Rather than embracing my hair as it is, I have been resisting it.

I resented my tight, gray curls.  My hair is difficult to manage and if only it were different, I thought I would be more beautiful.  So over the years I have over processed my hair, over manipulated it, and wished I could ignore its existence.

I resisted it…hated it… tried to change it… and my hair has paid the price for my lack of love and embrace.

My hair was splitting, breaking, and shedding on a continuous cycle.  But with little love and care, how could it possibly grow long and healthy?  How can anything grow without receiving love from somewhere?

So why am I sharing my hair story?

Now that I am nurturing and embracing the hair I was given, it reminded me to apply that concept in all areas of my life.  This is what I had to learn to do when I was single. 

Because I was either going to embrace it or go mad! (Smile)

God helped me to embrace my single life instead of resisting it.  Being single for eighteen years was the will of God and I did myself no justice bucking up against the will of the Almighty God!

I took advantage of the opportunities afforded to a single woman.  It took me awhile to discover what those opportunities where because I couldn’t imagine too many things being as worthwhile as having a husband.

Yet, the more I embraced my life (as it was) the more I grew to love it.  And the more I grew to love my life, the more I matured as a woman of God.  And it’s kind of hard to be sad over something that you are falling totally in love with.

I embraced dating and meeting new people.  If the guy I had dinner with was not, “the one”, I chose not to sulk and wonder, “When is it going to be my turn to fall in love?”

I was determined to embrace the experience… have fun… enjoy the food… enjoy the ambiance… and enjoy that someone found me special enough to invite me to dinner.

So I am throwing down a challenge today.  Treat your life like a delicate flower.  Embrace your purity, freedom, and the infinite possibilities of this thing we call life.  Cuddle your life and hold it close.  Life is a gift from God, so allow yourself to live the best life, single or married.

On my healthy hair journey I am learning to resist my hair less and embrace it more.  I handle it delicately and give it what it needs and in return, it is growing longer and stronger than ever before.  I stand in the mirror exploring the tight curls growing from the root.  They coil and turn in every direction.  Now I think they are kind of cute!

What will you begin to admire and appreciate if you take another look at your life?

So here’s the bottom line:

Resisting too much…trying to make too many changes (before it is time), may cause more damage than good.  Embrace where you are now in life for a healthier and stronger YOU.

And a few words from the movie “Rocky” – “Go out and get what you’re worth!”

(Yes, I confess to loving Rocky.)


What actions are you taking to embrace your single life?  Leave me a comment below!


Love you lots!

Candra E.

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15 thoughts on “Embrace Your Life

  1. Welcome to the natural hair community!! Lol we’ll I’m still in transition but I think in still qualified to welcome you 🙂 I’m enjoying my natural coils as well and get excited at the length of new growth 🙂 my how times have changed…thanks as always for the encouragement…life is drastically different than I expected in my early 20s but I’m learning true life is about living for Him.

    1. Thank you Nicole! Right now I am just doing some extended stretching but I believe I am on the verge of finding the right regimen and products that will keep my natural hair manageable. And yes true life is about living for the Lord. I didn’t find true happiness until I committed to living for Christ with my whole heart…unconditionally. Thank you so much for reading sis!

  2. Candra, you have no idea how meaningful your posts are to me. Your timing is perfect. I’ve been so frustrated in my walk with Christ lately (frustrated at the church, my marital status, where I am in my career, Christian websites, you name it), but your words flow like water for my thirsty soul. I read many Christian blogs, but I swear your tone is the most sincere of them all. When you write, I pay attention. I don’t kow you, but I feel as though God speaks to me through some of your posts.

    I’m 27 years old and I respect you because of your journey with Christ and your experience with singleness. It’s sort of hard taking single’s advice from someone who either a.) married in their early 20s, b.) suggest that as a single woman it is my Christian duty to spend my time catering to the needs of married women and their children, c.) recommend that in order to deal with my lack of a sex life I exercise or take up more hobbies -_-, or d.) insinuates that my life or time is less valuable because I don’t have a husband or children yet. I digress. Long story short, thank you.

    Sidenote: That’s right! Embrace your REAL hair. I’ve been natural now for nearly 7 years and I will never again process my hair. I believe in healthy hair and healthy hair is real hair– texture, color and all. Every woman (black, white, Asian, etc.) looks so much better with her natural hair. God got it right the first time. We don’t need to fix it. There’s a reason why He didn’t give us straight or blonde hair. Because it doesn’t look right on most, if not any, of us. Lol!

    1. Well I know blond wouldn’t look good on me! Hahaha!

      Thank you for your comment! I always appreciate feedback when I publish a new post. I agree that many people do not truly understand the issues that Christian singles deal with. Many downplay our struggles as if it’s no big deal. Yet those same struggles cause singles to leave the church and abandon God’s plan for their life. And that is a big deal. This is why I am a huge advocate for singles ministries in our churches to support singles in all areas of life.

      I’m so glad that the blog is a blessing to you. Pray with me that “Love and Grace” will continue to bless your life and the lives of others.

  3. Dear Candra, what a blessing your words are! Thank you for pulling out that keyboard and tapping away. I really enjoy your encouragements to value my life as it is, and be thankful to God for it! This has been a huge part of my journey over the past year and a half of new singledom. All God’s blessings – Tirzah

  4. thanks for your words of inspiration.hope this divine communication will continue between you and i. the Holy book said for i know a thought i have for you .A good thought and not a bad thought if we hold on to him.

  5. I am a single dad, and everyone is telling me including my small group leader to embrace my singleness. Here I am keep being turned down by women because they want the next man or I am a nice man, so they only want me as a friend. I am trying to understand why women keep turning me down even as a strong Christian. Now that as I have been told again by a friend that she may end up marrying another man, yet wants me to stay loyal to her? I really am not sure how to embrace my single life after my ex wife divorced me 2 years ago, and yet I see my friends are finding a wife when they have only been separated or divorced for a lot shorter time than me. I guess I may as well embrace my single life for good. What does it mean to really embrace my single life?

  6. I have read many of your writings and just love the way you so humbly explain things and use relatable stories embedded with the hope of Christ. I have done some of the same things you mentioned in this article, like asking the Lord “when is my time” …but I am thankful and encouraged after reading this.

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