Jacob and Rachel: Courtship Lessons Learned

Jacob and Rachel: Courtship Lessons Learned

Jacob and Rachel Bible LessonsThere are not many line by line rules to dating and courtship in the Bible.  Yet, it is good to study Biblical examples and learn from them.  Today I want to focus on three lessons the lives of Jacob and Rachel can teach Christian singles today.  

In Genesis 29 we find a historical account of Jacob and his desire to make Rachel his wife. 

Jacob’s mother, Rebekah, sent him to her brother Laban’s home in Haran.  When Jacob arrived in the land of the east, he saw off into the distance three flocks of sheep and goats waiting to be watered.

After speaking with some of the Shepherds, Rachel approached with her father’s flock.  The Shepherds introduced her as Laban’s daughter.

Jacob and Rachel Lesson 1: Rachel was a Shepherd.  We can’t put living on hold until after we get married.  Rachel was a single woman who made herself busy and worked to provide for her family. Much like Ruth, on the day she came face to face with her husband-to-be, she was active and working in the will of God.

Jacob kissed Rachel and wept aloud. We can assume that at the first sight of the lovely and beautiful Rachel, Jacob was in love. Yet even more beautiful is the divine move of God in their meeting. At the right place, at the right time, God led Jacob and Rachel to each other. 

Jacob and Rachel Lesson 2: Singles are often concerned about the when’s, where’s, and how’s of meeting our Jacob. The story of Jacob and Rachel is proof that God has a plan and is well able to carry it out.  It was not by chance that they met at the well that day.  It was destiny.  We don’t have to go off the beaten path to get a man.  God does the work.

Jacob stayed with Laban and Laban offered to pay Jacob for his continued labor.  So what wage did Jacob want for his labor?  He wanted Rachel. 

To our society, that may not sound so romantic. It could appear that Rachel is treated like nothing more than an object to be bought and sold at will. But, we must remember the times and culture back then. Second, it is clear that Jacob loved her very deeply. 

Jacob volunteered to work for seven years to gain Rachel. He did not try to get Rachel’s love for free in an attempt to earn something for nothing. He was willing to do what was necessary to have her. Jacob found Rachel worthy enough to labor for seven years. The Bible says his love was so strong for her that seven years seemed to him but a few days.

Unfortunately Laban tricked Jacob and gave him his older daughter, Leah, instead.  If Jacob wanted Rachel, he would have to work another seven years. So for a total of fourteen years, Jacob labored for Rachel.  He did not walk away when times got hard. He worked until he “earned” her hand in marriage.

Jacob and Rachel Lesson 3:  You are valuable and so is your love. A future husband should be willing to work for his future bride. His heart should not say that I am going to do the least I can to get this woman. Every man’s work may be different from the other. Jacob had his own work to perform in order to earn Rachel. And your future husband has his. But working and earning should be in action.

How has Biblical events transformed the way you live as a Christian single woman? 

Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships: Insight To Help You Make Better Relationship Decisions

They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models


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7 thoughts on “Jacob and Rachel: Courtship Lessons Learned

  1. This is probably one of my most favorite blogs of yours. Being a young woman, it’s so nice to be reminded, gently, of the standards set in the bible for courtship. 🙂

  2. I like that you wrote “His heart should not say that I am going to do the least I can to get this woman”. This is so true of today’s culture where you see men taking advantage of women and mistreating them. On one hand, it’s our fault,as women, because we give our pearls to pigs. On the other hand, a real man of God should know that his wife-to-be is precious and should pay a price to get her. I like this area of the African culture, in that the groom must pay the ‘bride price’ to the bride’s family to signify that they are willing to now take on the responsibility of the woman which the family had been raising for so long.
    Thanks for sharing this article Candra 🙂

    1. I pray that parents teach their sons and daughters while they are young, the value of honor and respect in relationships. Perhaps this will help bring a positive change to our current dating culture.

  3. I think I can sum up Jacob in two words – ideal man. A man who pursues someone and shows that great love already even before marriage is very hard to find. And most of all, a man of integrity and one who seeks after the heart of Christ – this is the kind of man that women should pray for. Thanks for sharing this story and your thoughts about it! It helps! God bless you!

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