Is He Too Shy

Have you ever wondered…is he too shy

Does he feel the same about me as I feel about him? Is he too shy to say so?

Even though I read Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, I still wonder how the mind of a man works. I question my husband often about the man’s point of view on singleness and relationships. Even after a definitive response, I still on occasion am left scratching my head. (Smile)

I did my own unofficial survey and asked various men in my life this question…

If you had a serious interest in a woman would you ever be too shy to approach her?

So far the answer has been a resounding, no.

For all of our male readers, please feel free to chime in down below in the comments.

According to my husband (who tends to be reserved and shy at times), even a timid man will find a way to express his interest in a woman. It may not be easy for him, but he will find a way somehow.

I recently spoke at a single’s conference in St. Louis, and we had an amazing dialog about dating and courtship. I took the liberty of asking a gentleman there the same question.

Would you ever be too shy or intimidated to approach a woman you had a deep interest in? Although he would not mind if a woman approached him first to say hello, shyness would never hinder him from expressing his interest.

For me, this helps dispel the myth that sometimes us ladies have to help the men along when it comes to initiating relationships.

Before I met my husband, I became good friends with someone I thought could be a prospective “Boaz”. He was sincerely kind and supportive. It was not long before I was hoping that more would transpire.

We spoke on the phone several times a week, and I told myself that he’s probably too shy and unsure of how to ask me out. I made efforts to lead conversations toward dating, trying to give him every green light possible.

Abruptly, my “Is he too shy?” question was answered. He called me with exciting news to say that he asked someone out. I played it cool but was highly embarrassed. He probably sensed all along that I wanted him to express a deeper interest in me.

He was a shy person, but not when it came down to getting the woman he wanted.

After this I depended more on the Spirit of God for discernment instead of my personal feelings.

According to my husband if a man is interested, he will let you know and it will be more than just a smile or gesture. Because smiles and gestures can be misread, he will do “more” to get your attention.

He puts on his game face. He will look his best and act his best when he is around you. If you have had a first date, he will make it clear that he wants a second date.

Around our third date, my Ronnie arrived with a shiny clean slightly iced over car. You guessed it. He wanted to impress so he went to the car-wash on a cool autumn night. By the time he got off the highway and arrived at my apartment the water that didn’t dry, turned to ice. A slightly frozen car is better than a dirty one I suppose. (Smile)

That night neither one of us said a word about the ice glazed over his car, but the message was well understood. Now that we’re married, we laugh so hard about that night.

Should a woman put her life on hold and spend countless hours wondering, Is he too shy?

Boaz said to his young man, the one who was overseeing the harvesters, “To whom does this young woman belong?” (Ruth 2:5 CEB)

Ruth caught the attention of Boaz and found favor in his eyes. Boaz inquired of Ruth while she was working and performing the will of God. His love for Ruth moved him to be more generous to her than to others.

The man God has kept for you, will find you and will inquire. He may be reserved. He may be shy. But, he will find a way to reach your heart. Apparently it’s what men do. (Smile)

Do you agree? Disagree? Leave your thoughts down below.

All my love,

~Candra

Candra Evans Christian Singles Blog

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9 thoughts on “Is He Too Shy

  1. Very big help. Now I know what I needed to know about a guy that expressed an interest. We started off talking on phone then he backed off because he said he has no time to date he is trying to concentrate on his teenagers age 16 and 19. And he only has time for work and home. I was puzzled as to why he approached me as if he was ready then freeze up.

    1. I’m glad this gave you some insight. It’s definitely something to consider when engaging in new relationships. My experience also showed me the importance of guarding my heart and not giving it away so freely. Otherwise healthy friendships could turn into damaging crushes.

  2. This guy lost his wife to terminal illness about 2 years ago. To me I think he was not ready but moved too quickly. He was married 29 years,

    1. That’s a good and interesting question. The purity rings I have seen do not look like traditional wedding rings. Still the most important thing to consider is that nothing is too hard for God. When God commands his blessing upon us, who or what can stop it? His promises are sure and there is nothing that can hinder them. Thank you for the question Nae! 🙂

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