My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian

My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian

You’re leaving church on Sunday and one of your best sister-friends approaches you. She’s glowing all over. You figure she’s either had an anointed encounter with God during morning worship or….she met a man. (Smile) Since she’s been single for awhile, you figure that it is probably the latter.

Before she gets a word out you ask with a grin, “What’s his name?”

Six months ago she met him at a marketing conference in Atlanta and next week he is flying in to see her. She’s ecstatic. She’s overjoyed. This man is everything she’s ever wanted.

She brags about his career, education, physique and how romantic he is. They’ve been talking on the phone, snap chatting and face timing on a daily basis. She’s driven down to see him twice since their first meeting. “This is love!” she shouts in a high pitch tone.

You take notice that she mentions nothing about his relationship with God. So you follow up with, “Is He a born again Christian?”

She stutters. She stammers. She hesitates as she tries to come up with a spiritual answer.

She replies “Well no, but he does not mind that I am a Christian.”

It is almost the ideal situation. She would prefer that he was equally yoked with her in faith, but at least he will not hinder her walk with God. He was even somewhat impressed by her Bible knowledge.

He’s cool with the fact that she sings in the choir and never misses a Bible study. Plus, he promised that he would come to church with her one day soon.

This is just a fictional illustration, but the reality of this scenario is, well, real. The “He does not mind that I am a Christian” rational is a slippery slope to climb.

does not mind that I am a ChristianI met a man I really liked and he pursued me for several months. I have to confess that it was nice to get that kind of attention.

The hiccup was that he wasn’t into the “church thing”, but didn’t mind that God was a vital part of my life. What he didn’t realize was that when I left church, I didn’t clock out until the next Sunday. My relationship with God was a daily involvement.

I had someone encourage me to go for it. “You can lead him to Christ”, she said. “It worked for me”, she insisted.  She was in her sixties at the time and I wanted to ask how many years of marriage she had to wait until “it worked”. But I didn’t want to be disrespectful.

I gave it some thought and after three dates, he was already asking me to compromise my convictions. This was also after he visited my church a few times.

We can only lead a double hearted life for so long. At some point we have to make a decision as to which path we will travel.

Oxen that are unequally tied together cannot work together successfully. Their goal is to plow for farming and carry heavy loads. There is a profitable end if both of them work as one.

The believer and the unbeliever are traveling different paths. They’re aiming at different marks and running toward different finish lines. Their futures are not the same.

Their paths may cross and parallel just long enough to meet and create a soul tie, but the two paths will eventually shift and become worlds apart. It may not look this way today, but in the future, things change.

He may say that he doesn’t care if you’re a Christian, but how he thinks about love and life will naturally contradict God’s perfect will. This is so for all of us before walking in the Spirit of God.

Your choices for your life are Biblical and faith based. The actions and believe system of an unbeliever is based on various other foundations.

Being with him feels good but the path He’s traveling on has not been paved by God. Because the yoke is not even, you will be pulled backward and forward. Things move too quickly and your heart is spinning in circles. You will have to unyoke from one path or the other.

Cutting romantic ties with an unbeliever is the best choice, but not necessarily easy. Depending on how much of yourself you have given to him, it can be devastating to let go. However, letting go of God is a greater loss.

Romantic gestures are a cheap exchange for your place in God. I’ve never heard a woman of faith say that a man did her better than God. Rather when the new love turns old, there is desperation to be restored back to her blessed place in the Lord.

Heartbreak is less inevitable when the desires of you, your man, and God fall in line together. It makes your journey in life a shared one, which manifests perfect harmony, honesty and love without conditions.

There is no pulling or competing for your heart. If you both abide in Christ, Christ will abide in both of you. You will both travel the same path, moving forward hand in hand without the hardship of letting go.

Companion Scripture (I Corinthians 6:14-18)

What are your thoughts? If commitment to Christ is not the same, can two live happily ever after as one?

~Candra Evans



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7 thoughts on “My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian

  1. Amen sis! I would add that even Christians can be unequally yoked with one another. I have dated otherChristian men but they were not as mature spiritually and offered no promise in maturing. knowing God as Savior is one thing. Yielding to Him daily and knowing Him as Lord is another.

    1. That is so true. It seems unimaginable but there are people who wave their hands in worship but their hearts devise wicked plans. We must walk in the Spirit that we may discern correctly.

  2. I agree so much! If God is our number one priority (as He should be) and if our partner doesn’t share that number one priority, the entire basis of our lives will be different! Inter-religion relationships only work if you aren’t living your faith fully enough.

  3. Wonderful job sharing the meaning of what it means to be “unequally yoked.” I love also how you shared that a believer and a non-believer are running toward different finish lines. I’ve tried dating a couple girls and leading them to Christ along the way but neither time did it work. I think the love of God was confused by them for emotion, and so they didn’t put their focus on God – that emotion stopped at me, which is hard to take. But in the end they just weren’t hungry for the truth and that caused problems that didn’t need to be there. I’m learning that at least for me, finding a girl who already has a strong Biblical foundation is the way to go.

    1. Amen Sam! I was even advised to get a boyfriend first and lead him to Christ second. I don’t think that ever works as well as anyone truly desires. God’s Word is given to us for a reason. If we follow God, we will avoid time wasted and broken relationships. Thanks for you comment! Stay in touch!

      1. I have seen it done. Some of my friends who were women witnessed to guys who became passionate about them and they’re living healthily in their relationships and some have happy marriages, so I know it’s possible.
        But I also know that each believer’s walk with God looks a little different. That’s seen in how we’re members in particular; each having a unique role in the body of Christ. So what works for one, may not fit for another. At least as I can tell at the moment, its doesn’t seem like that path of dating someone without God and leading them along is a sure one for me.
        But God holds tomorrow, not me.

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