These questions are often up for debate in the Christian single community. A facet of this issue is that if Christian men are unwilling to wait until marriage to have the cookie, than Christian women should not be expected to wait either.
Therefore if we’re okay with it as a “Christian” couple, God should be okay with it too.
Here is one reader’s response to my blog post, “The Christian Man and The Cookie”…
“I see articles like this and hear girls in church group talk about this all time. But none of them can name this plethora Christian men who really want to wait to have sex. They all speak hypothetically and theoretically, just like LoveinWaiting did. I know of soo sooo many happily Christian married couples who admittedly had sex with each other during their courtship. No one gets real about the facts of Christian dating.”
I left a reply for this reader but wanted to carry this conversation forward.
I was inspired to write my previous post because of men I know who are waiting until marriage for the cookie. I want to honor them because society tears them down and demeans their decision to walk upright before God.
If Christian men choose to wait until the wedding night for the cookie, God is more than able to deliver them and will bless them with the desires of their hearts.
The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. (Psalm 145:18-19 KJV)
To in fact get “real about the facts of Christian dating”, we have to look at all sides of the issue. We also have to throw out limited assumptions and generalizations. Every persons walk with God is unique and ultimately God is the righteous judge over our actions.
The reader’s response is correct in that not every professed Christian couple has waited until the wedding day for the cookie. Some couples are frank about their pre-marriage intimacies while others put on a pretense of piety.
In either case it would be presumptuous for me to say that because they are happily married now, that sex before marriage is God’s new approved plan for couples. Instead I would say that if these couples are happily married today, it is evidence of God’s grace and mercy.
Because God has blessed and had favor on an individual who has sinned, does not make the sin an acceptable action for others to take part in. It means instead that God is gracious and willing to forgive.
But should we continue in sin so grace may abound? God forbid.
For some godless people have slipped in unnoticed among us, persons who distort the message about the grace of our God in order to excuse their immoral ways, and who reject Jesus Christ, our only Master and Lord. Long ago the Scriptures predicted the condemnation they have received. (Jude 1:4 GNT)
In spite of the varied religious theories that are created in the minds of humanity, God’s Word will always prevail. You can close the scriptures and toss them in the deepest part of the ocean. God’s Word lives on beyond the printed pages.
Christian single men practicing abstinence is not a thing of the past. There is a remnant of men presenting their bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God. (Romans 12:1)
Satan would love for God’s children to believe that God’s Word is no longer relevant or worthy of regard. He would love for us to turn a blind eye to the damage that fornication has caused in the lives of so many.
The entertainment industry and mass media have changed the mind of many Christians when it comes to dating. But it hasn’t changed God’s mind.
In Old Testament times, Israel often found pleasure in hating righteousness. Then they believed that their outward piety and religious ceremonies would be enough to appease God.
God sent words of warning and promises from the prophets but they did not want to hear. They preferred doing what gave them immediate gratification.
Things have not changed much today. Today, people use the immorality of others to justify their own. They misjudge seasons of grace. When God responds with mercy instead of judgment, it is sadly mistaken for God’s approval.
The old adage “everybody’s doing it” is not enough to turn evil into good.
Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the Lord, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. (Amos 5:14 KJV)
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