“My Grace is Enough” by guest blogger, Nicole Miller.
I sank down with my back against the wall, and let the tears flow. I cried out and told the Lord that I simply could not fulfill His call on my life. I had tried and tried and I just did not have it in me.
I let my heart pour out through those tears and grief and sorrow escaped. This was not the first time I had come to the end of myself and it would not be the last.
But I knew that it had to happen and that life was made up of these moments when you realize, you do not have what it takes in and of yourself to complete your race. It wasn’t just singleness that ailed me, it was my own brokenness. I was frustrated that a season was causing me such turmoil and my way of “white knuckling” it was not effective for the long haul.
I was on my face before the Lord and it had been a while since that had happened. There was no outward manifestation of His answer, but I knew just the same He was there.
The next morning I received an email from a woman pouring out her heart to me about her relationship woes and her singlehood. She had found me via the internet and a popular blog post I wrote which also became the title of my first book. I was overwhelmed at her sharing and how she was in need of what I had to offer.
It was in reading her email that I heard the Lord very clearly, “I am your strength where you are weak. My grace is sufficient for you”. And I looked at the time the woman had written the email. Yes, it was around the time I myself was crying out to the Lord for my own deliverance.
I once read that Paul was an overcomer because he learned to embrace his weaknesses. When he asked the Lord to deliver him from the thorn in his flesh 3 times, the Lord responded, “My grace is sufficient”.
I have struggled with perfectionism and perfectionism does not allow you to embrace your weaknesses. It makes you feel as if you have to have it all together. That has caused me to be self-reliant and depend on myself. Only being self-reliant never lasts long term because eventually you will find yourself sitting on the floor in your bedroom, crying out to Jesus that you simply do not have what it takes.
And that’s exactly what He wants.
So that we can learn His grace. I’m learning what His grace is. His grace is joy in the midst of circumstances you cannot change. A joy that is supernatural. His grace is wholeness. Being complete in His love and identity and the ability to engage in the abundant life He died for His children to have. It is Gal 5:22-23. The fruits of the Spirit which are His character and are His fullness which is in us. It is tangible and personal and satisfies in every way.
Anxiety plagued me b/c I wanted control. It made me feel as if by worrying I had control but instead it discouraged me and I could not see a hope for my future. I was projecting my past into my future.
When I humbled myself and released control He met me with His joy. His joy that allowed me to enjoy my present and trust Him with my future. His joy that can only be found in the manifestation of His presence, no matter our circumstances.
He will show us the path of life. In His presence there is fullness of joy. At His right hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11).
Visit Nicole’s blog … His Love is Better Than Wine
Click to purchase your copy of ]How to Overcome Heartbreak : Recovering from Misguided Love
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