I Need Him to Change | Guest Post

This guest blog post I Need Him to Change was first published on https://beagirlfriendpraylikeawife.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much sis for sharing.

Hi ladies,

So this is the phrase that has been a constant in my prayers whenever my boyfriend makes me mad or gets mad at me. I always look up to the Lord and ask him, ‘why does he act like that?’ ‘ Can’t he just change and be this…and that and the other’. I need him to change Lord!

Well, I have been reading ‘The Power of a Praying wife’ and oh wow, I was taken aback.

To come to God to change someone, you have to come with a pure heart, otherwise your prayers will take longer to be answered, because they are not coming from the purity of your heart. If I look back, there are times when my boyfriend and I used to have an argument, and I would kneel before the Lord and cry, and ask him to forgive me and clear my heart of the anger and pray for a change in my boyfriend; funny enough that change would truly occur. On the contrary, whenever, I went to God arguing and blaming my boyfriend, it was like my pleas fell on deaf ears and I was losing.

One thing for sure, is that I cannot come around to telling my boyfriend that something is wrong with him or pointing out his flaws without him being defensive and yet he found it so easy to point out mine. I did not want to be annoying and complain all the time because growing up I knew how annoying a nagging woman can be, and yet my boyfriend said that I sometimes come off annoying…(well its people on the outside who truly know You) ; and I have also promised to stop being on the defensive myself. So back to Stormie, she specifically referred to praying to God to change You first before, he begins to work on the Boyfriend. WHOAH..

So before I wrote this post I asked myself, what is honestly wrong with me. I feel like I have not done anything wrong, he is always in the wrong I said. So, it finally came to me that maybe I can start praying about the things that he vocally complains about me. (Thank God my guy is vocal about such)

  1. Time Keeping; I did not think it was that big of a deal, until I recalled the expression that he has on his face when I’m late for a date, or spending hours doing my makeup, or not prepared for anything when he comes over. The expression is one that says that he wants to wrap me in a ball and throw me off the balcony. (My guy wants a girlfriend who keeps time or at least shows an effort to keep time)
  2. Organized; I must confess I am not organized AT ALL!!! Like sometimes I like my mess because I can easily find my stuff through it. But I know how to hide so I do not think he has seen my mess full on (I’m one of those people who usually organize when someone is coming over)
    1. (a) The other thing that is in the organized categories is the finances. My finances are somewhat a mess. There are times when I have money and other times I am super broke…and I always tell myself that I’m only 23…lol…that is foolish, I know. So he keeps saying he does not mind but I am sure he does, it is not right I need to get myself together
  3. My phone is unavailable (most of the time) when he needs to talk to me and also when it is on, I do not pick (not intentionally of course). Do You know anyone like this? They really do not mind being offline. I honestly do not mind and I feel like I get a peace of mind. But it drives him mad…Super mad.
  4. I interrupt him a lot when he is talking. I just cannot seem to shut up! I am so opinionated and I need to understand that some I do not have to really talk and allow my man to feel like a man. Otherwise, we end up in a debate that is makes one of us angry.

So these are the areas that I am asking God to change in me. I am on my knees praying to God to deliver me from those weak points, I am physically going to work at it physically and keep a journal for progress. What are Your weak points that Your boyfriend keeps complaining about?

P.S: And lastly, if you’re still thinking ‘He also has weaknesses’, my response is, let’s be humble, come off our high horse and deal with OURS, then we shall deal with his later.

PRAYER TIME!

  1. Let go of your anger towards him and forgive him; MARK 11:24-25; Ephesians 4:32 Galatians 6:9
  2. Get on your knees with your pure heart and start praying for Yourself.

This is a sample prayer template which I also borrowed and tweaked from Stormie, you can also modify to suit You.

Oh LORD, I come to You today thanking You for everything that You have given me, the blessings and the love that I receive each and every day. I thank You for the fact that I actually know You or Lord. Thank You for the fact that I am in a relationship with (boyfriend’s name). Thank You for having made us meet for I know that it was no coincidence, for You know all things before they even happen. Lord I kneel down before You today to ask You to help me a good girlfriend for I do not know how to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience and irritability and turn them into kindness, long suffering and the willing ness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mind sets automatic reactions, rude assumptions and self-protective stance and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. TAKE AWAY THE HARDNESS OF MY HEART AND BREAK DOWN THE WALLS I HAVE BUILT. Give me a new heart and work in me Your JOY, PEACE and LOVE.

Show me where there is sin in my heart with regard to (boyfriend’s name) and help me change and transform from being (mention Your weaknesses). Only YOU can change me Lord and make me new. I confess that there are times when I have been critical unloving, judgmental, unsupportive, resentful, rude and mean. I also have built up anger and disappointment towards him but lift all those feelings from my heart. Let me forgive him totally and FORGET. Let the way we COMMUNICATE rise to another level and let us be able to understand each other

Make me (boyfriend’s name) helpmate, companion, friend and number one fan. Let him feel peaceful restful and safe when he is with me. Let me learn how to care for myself and stay attractive to him with utter confidence in spirit, mind and soul. Make him proud of me as his girlfriend.

I lay all my expectations of (boyfriend’s name) at the Cross and release him of the burden of fulfilling me in the areas where I should be looking unto You. Let me accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he might not change but at the same time, I ask You to release him to change in ways that I never thought he could I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and only You are.

Teach me how to pray for my boyfriend and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way that he can truly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we are in agreement about everything. Make us a team not pursuing separate, competitive or independent lives but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the relationship.

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another may grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to head our relationship as You made him to be and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise Breathe Your life into this relationship

Make me a new person Lord and Give me a fresh perspective, a positive, outlook and a renewed relationship with the man You have given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion and acceptance. Give my boyfriend a new girlfriend and let that girlfriend be me.

In Jesus’ name I Pray

AMEN!

Feel free to comment down below

xxxxx

Love is Like Green Bananas?

Love is Like Green Bananas?

…written by guest blogger Brenda Seefeldt Amodea

I had a date with a guy once. His name was Mitchell. He was in a band that I hired for a youth event and he was pretty insistent on asking me out. Even the teens knew he was. I said yes.

On our first date he took me to a nice dinner in downtown Minneapolis. It was a nice dinner and we had a nice conversation. After that dinner we were walking on that nice summer evening in downtown Minneapolis.

Then suddenly he was down on his knees before me and proposed marriage. In front of a crowd…  Who stopped to watch… I said no to his proposal without even explaining why. Very loudly to the crowd Mitchell declared, “Love is like green bananas. It takes time to ripen.” The date ended shortly after that.

When you practice brave dating (Dating to discover who you are. The result of this learning process will then lead you to a good match to give you that love for a lifetime you desire.) Sometimes you date clunkers. This is a risk you take.

But isn’t dating always a risk? Vulnerability is required. Believe it or not though, brave dating is one of those safer risks because you aren’t placing so much pressure on this one date hoping he/she may be “the one.” You are just dating and learning.

A side benefit is sometimes you get to do some really fun things on that date. Especially if you can help shape the date idea to be something fun.

Another side benefit is you may have a great story to tell your friends that will cause laughter for many years to come. You don’t get that story without taking this step of bravery.

And a proposal mixed with love is like green bananas is a story worth telling again and again.

Mitchell and I had a second date, sort of. His band was playing at the county fair and I was there. He took me on a ride on the ferris wheel. At the top of the ferris wheel, he proposed again. I said no again. And he confidently said, “Love is like bubbles. It takes time to rise to the surface.”

I never saw Mitchell again. But I heard he got married to someone else not too long after. Is anyone surprised?

Brenda Seefeldt Amodea is a 35-year youth pastor.  What that means is she has “coached” many teens through high school, through singleness and into marriage.  What Brenda has learned over these 35 years as well as from her own personal experience of dating for 18 years before her marriage has been combined into Brave Dating Coach which is a blog, a small group, and a speaking ministry.  Brave Dating Coach can be found at http://www.Bravester.com where you will also find other blogs written by some of those grown teens in Brenda’s life who are finding their way to that love for a lifetime.

Love in Waiting welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for LIW or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.
GospelNewMedia@gmail.com

Stay In Your Lane by Makeda Russell

Stay In Your Lane

by Guest Writer: Makeda Russell

I believe it is an important life lesson for us to ‘Stay in our lane’, as we run our race in life. The words that I am about to share is nothing new. It’s something you might have heard before, so, it’s just a reminder to encourage us in whatever season we are experiencing at the moment.

As we journey through this life, at some point in time we might focus our attention or take a glance at what God is doing in someone else’s life. It’s a natural tendency of man. Nothing is wrong with this, depending on the nature of our heart.

But today I would just like to encourage you my sisters and my brothers. Whether you are in your season of singleness or in your season of marriage, never get caught up with what God is doing for someone else or how God is blessing someone else; that we become discouraged in our own circumstance. Or, that we miss our own blessing or do not take the time out to prepare ourselves for our own blessings to come.

It’s not about what God is doing in someone else’s life….It’s about YOU.

It’s about how He (God) is dealing with you my sister; how He is dealing with you my brother. What is God doing for YOU? (not everyone else), what is God speaking to YOU? (not everyone else). Everybody’s story is different…different plot, different setting, different characters etc., and this is something that we must see for ourselves and walk in it without looking for familiarity or validation.

Let’s get comfortable with our own portion. You see, when our mind or our spirit is on everyone else and what God is doing for them, then we are not ready to run our race.  We can never run our race, when we are not in our own lane.

So yes, we might be 30, 40, 50 years old and is still waiting for marriage or some other blessing in our lives, but I encourage you, to stay in your lane…whatever it is you’re waiting on God to do, it’s your lane my friend- stay in it.

One of the things personally for me is that, whenever I am waiting for God to bless me, I always look for familiarity… so, is there another sister out there who has a similar story to mine and God came through for her? Or is there a sister out there who has a similar story and she too is waiting for God to bless her?

I tend to cling to familiarity and there’s nothing wrong with that, matter a fact it was in searching on YouTube for a familiar story in singleness, that I was blessed to have met Candra… (Thank you Lord). So you see, there is nothing wrong in searching for familiarity because it does bless us and encourage us.

But in keeping in our lane, sometimes, just sometimes my friend, there just won’t be familiarity; there just won’t be another story like ours or maybe not in the sense that we are looking for it, so through prayer we have to learn to glory in our own garden and trust God that He will make something beautiful out of it, despite how it might look now.

Jeremiah 29:11(Good News Translation) says, ‘I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring you about the future you hope for.’

2nd Timothy 4:7 (KJV), ‘I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.’

Let’s fight that fight, finish our course and keep the faith my friend, as we run this particular leg of our race.

God Bless.

Makeda Russell is a 32 year Christian Single. She has never been married and is waiting on God for her God-ordained husband. 🙂

Makeda is not a professional writer but a school teacher by profession. She teaches grade six at her school in Jamaica. 

If you enjoyed this post, Stay In Your Lane, please share and leave your thoughts below in the comments!

Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for Abundantly You or would like to invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.

No Ordinary Stories

No Ordinary Stories by guest blogger, Farah J.

No Ordinary Stories by Farah
Written by guest blogger, Farah, from Rising with the Son

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! (Ephesians 3:20 MSG)

I love reading. I’m especially keen for books whose authors find new and appealing ways to tell their stories, stories that capture my attention and have me reading for hours. But the moment I pick up a book that has an ordinary and expected story line, I’m just as eager to put it back on the shelf.

What kind of story is your life telling? Is it an exciting and exceptional story, or a boring and ordinary one? We all have a story to tell and good readers can tell who the author of our story is.

People who have the same story line as everyone else around them, are often the ones who are writing their own stories. These are the stories that, sad to say, I’m done reading. They’re just ordinary and boring. I know how they all end. But people whose stories are being written by God, now these are stories that get me excited and curious. I want to know how they end.

God is a great writer. Just read the Bible and you’ll see for yourself. Its ancient stories have been reread and retold for many generations simply because their author is God.

Who isn’t curious to find out what happens to Abraham as he lays Isaac on the altar, or Daniel as he is thrown in the lion’s den? Not to mention the encouragement and inspiration we get from reading these stories. And mind you, they’re not a bunch of fairy tales, they’re real stories, written by a real God.

God would love to write your life story, so that it can do the same for others. Please give Him the pen back and let Him write a great story that everyone would want to read.

No Ordinary Stories by Farah J.I’m an empty page/I’m an open book/Write Your story on my heart/Come on and make Your mark/Author of my hope/Maker of the stars/Let me be Your work of art/Won’t You write Your story on my heart –Francesca Battistelli, “Write Your Story”

Love in Waiting welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for my blog or invite me to speak at your event, email GospelNewMedia@gmail.com.

A New View on Dating

Courtship Christian DatingA New View on Dating

Written by guest blogger: Nicole D. Miller

 

I used to be a huge proponent for courtship versus dating.  My understanding of dating was that there is very little wisdom, there is no clear purpose on being with that person and there is a greater potential for heartbreak.  Having had the experience of heartbreak more than once I wanted to avoid it as much as possible!

So I advocated for courtship since I didn’t want to be “out there”, I didn’t want to be broken-hearted and I didn’t want to waste my time entertaining someone who wasn’t the someone (am I alone in this?).  But now that I am a little older (and hopefully wiser) I’m learning about balance.

I’m learning that though my intentions have been God honoring and my views were coming from a sincere desire to please Him, they were not necessarily the healthiest viewpoints for me.

The blessing in being more balanced is that you get away from extremism.  Whenever there is extremism there is opportunity for deception, delusion and even pride.  Paul (previously known as Saul) understood extremism.

He was, in his own words, a “Hebrew of Hebrews”.  He was so zealous in his belief that he actually thought he was doing the work of the Lord by killing God’s people!  He was delusional.  Extremism can take us there.

Previously I may not have been that extreme in my belief about dating, I was open to others dating, I just did not think it was wise for me to.  I did not think I could guard my heart when connecting with multiple people.  And looking back I was probably right.  Okay, okay, I was right.  But there are different seasons of life.

There are different ways God is working and moving and shaping us in His image and so I find myself being more open these days.  I find myself having conversations and going out for meals and placing more value on honoring a person for who they are instead of trying to see if they are my spouse.

This is a good practice for me.  It is good to remember people are to be honored simply because they are in the image of God, not because they can fulfill a need you have.

It has taken me time to get to this place, and I am still growing, but time has benefited my growth process.

I do think dating can be misused, but now I’m learning it is about the person using it.  If that person is more mature, less selfish, and a little wiser, well, she just may be able to experience healthy male interaction in a safe environment in the context of dating.

A new view on dating~Nicole D. Miller

Visit Nicole’s blog … His Love is Better Than Wine
Click here to purchase your copy of How to Overcome Heartbreak : Recovering from Misguided Love

 

I am currently looking for writers/guest bloggers to contribute to Abundantly You. You do not have to be a blogger or professional writer to contribute. We’ve all had battles to overcome. We are all fighting some kind of battle now. Share your story of God’s love and grace in your life.

 

Your guest post is not restricted to the subject of singleness. Anything that will empower, make us think, or make us laugh are welcome. Email your submissions to Candra Evans at gospelnewmedia@gmail.com. God bless you!

Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More

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Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.
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Mailing address: P.O. Box 128787
Cincinnati, Ohio 45212
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Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary HandShare Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

 

Would you like to share your story to inspire Christian singles?

  • What relationship lessons have you learned?
  • How have you grown in God during the season of singleness?
  • Got a funny first date story that will make someone smile?
  • Have parenting tips for the single mom?
  • Can you encourage Christian singles over 40?

Even in times when we feel we have nothing much to contribute, we are in fact affecting the lives of others all around us.

But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Exodus 17:12 ESV)

It doesn’t take great feats to help someone else on their journey. Aaron and Hur simply supported the hands of Moses. They lifted his hands high when Moses became weary. As long as the hands of Moses were held up, Joshua and Israel prevailed.

For the last 7 years or so I have shared many stories of my Christian single journey. However, I truly believe that the greatest words of inspiration have come from you.

Many have chosen to share your story through guest blogging and comments. I have read every one and so have others. These words have been gems to the weary heart.

My prayer is that Abundantly You continue to be a strong platform for inspiration for singles. But that will not happen without you.

I am currently looking for writers/guest bloggers to contribute to Abundantly You. You do not have to be a blogger or professional writer to contribute. We’ve all had battles to overcome. We are all fighting some kind of battle now.

Lend your voice and hold up a weary hand.

 

Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

Your guest post is not restricted to the subject of singleness. Anything that will empower, make us think, or make us laugh is welcome.

In return I want to promote what you are doing in the Kingdom of God. Perhaps you would like to share your blog, book or other accomplishments. I welcome your words!

I will share 2 to 3 links within your article or in your bio that will lead Abundantly You readers to where you are. Share your business, your book, etc. Share your story.

If you feel more comfortable sharing your story anonymously, that is fine too. 🙂

Here’s a quick rundown of guest post guidelines:

  • A minimum of 500 words
  • Include a short bio (Optional)
  • Include a photo (Optional)
  • Include your web site or social media link (Optional)
  • All guest posts, articles, and linked pages will be vetted to make sure it aligns with the heart of Abundantly You.

God bless you all and I look forward to hearing from you! Submit your article(s) to gospelnewmedia@gmail.com. Feel free to email me with any questions or to simply chat!

Love you to life!
~Candra Evans
Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More

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Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.
GospelNewMedia@gmail.com
Mailing address: P.O. Box 128787
Cincinnati, Ohio 45212
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Alone But Not Empty by Nicole Miller

Nicole Miller
Nicole Miller

Alone But Not Empty by guest blogger, Nicole D. Miller

2015 was a good year.  I was overwhelmed by the blessings of God.  One after another they overtook me (Deut 28:2).  It got to the point that I told my best friend, “I cannot possibly meet my husband this year!  It would be too much!” Of course Jesus knows I was only kidding (smile).

But just because it was a blessed year does not mean it was easy.  There were many days where I was uncomfortable or brokenhearted.

Last year was a time of recovering from a lot of emotional pain.  I of course am still on this journey of recovery but I feel the Lord and I gained a lot of ground in 2015.

Aside from the blessings and the healing, what made last year special was the fact that I have been emotionally alone for the first time in my adult life.  As a teenager I fell into unhealthy relationships and the same thing happened in college and then after college.

I unknowingly was functioning in codependent relationships and friendships.  One by one the Lord kept asking me to lay down these relationships.  I did not realize it was b/c the relationships were so unhealthy and were hindering my growth in Him, but I obeyed because He had my heart.

Finally the time came where all unhealthy relationships were removed and I was left alone.  Truly alone.  Not just single in relationship status, but single in heart.  This may sound very noble and admirable to be single in heart for Jesus but in all honesty all I felt was pain.

All I felt was a terrible emptiness that threatened to consume me.  I asked people around me if they had ever experienced this but they had not.  I didn’t understand why I felt so empty.  And then the Lord led me to cry out to Him.  “I need You Lord!”

I cried out and told Him I needed Him tEmpty but not aloneo fill me.  I needed Him to complete me.  That is what had been lacking all those years of following Him.  He had been gracious to me.  He had given me time and did not ask for all of the idols at once.

Last year was a year of awakening to wholeness and completion in Him.  His word says that we do not lack any good thing.  We are overflowing with Him and all that we need, but how many of us really believe that?

How many of us let go of the false dependencies and coping mechanisms and unhealthy relationships?  How many of us are willing to stop hiding and stand before Him, naked and unashamed?  Solely depending on Him alone?

There is no easy way around it when you have functioned in an unhealthy way for so long.  There is no easy way to become emotionally and mentally healthy.  I am still on my journey, but there is grace to do it.  There is patience from a Father who is always cheering us on.  There is love from the One who shaped us in His image and crafted us before we were in our mother’s wombs.

We may be alone but we are not empty.  And even when we are alone, we never really are.

~Nicole D. Miller

Visit Nicole’s blog … His Love is Better Than Wine
Click to purchase your copy of How to Overcome Heartbreak : Recovering from Misguided Love

Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More
How to Overcome Heartbreak : Recovering from Misguided Love by Nicole Miller
Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships: Insight To Help You Make Better Relationship Decisions by Kenny Pugh
Anxious for Nothing: God’s Cure for the Cares of Your Soul (John Macarthur Study)

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Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.

GospelNewMedia@gmail.com
Mailing address: P.O. Box 128787
Cincinnati, Ohio 45212
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