It’s exciting to start something new. It brings an opportunity to reset, refresh and move forward.
When it comes to our relationships (new or old), God’s Word is a guide to us… so that we do not stumble or compromise our place in Him.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? –
2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
The above Bible verse is a popular one among the saved and single community. Although this text is relative to all types of relationships, the focused relationship is usually the romantic one.
Still I wonder how early in a relationship should this verse be considered. Most Christian singles desire to marry someone who is also a believer and active in the Kingdom of God.
However, when it comes to dating, the boundaries are often stretched to include anyone that shows interest in us. I see it often. You probably do too.
I’m conservative when it comes to matters of the heart. Maybe it’s because my heart was broken on more occasions than I’d like to recall.
Therefore, I’m all for starting a new relationship with clarity and purpose. Some may say that I’m too deep and that a first date isn’t that serious. It’s just the beginning of things, right?
Accepting a first date with an unbeliever can open doors that you may not find so easy to shut again. You’re taking the chance of becoming emotionally connected with someone who’s on a different spiritual page. It may not seem to matter much initially, but it will soon enough.
It doesn’t take long for two souls to intimately connect. It doesn’t have to be sexual intimacy. Many hearts have been taken captive on the first encounter with a romantic dinner and a man who has taken interest in all of who you are.
This often occurs on the very first date. We get caught up and we don’t want to turn back.
So how do you get to know someone without dating them first? How else can you embark on something new that may turn into something wonderful?
If you don’t know this person well enough to determine if they are sincerely walking in the Spirit, be friends first. When starting something new we are tempted to hurry things along without fully realizing what (or who) we are truly committing our hearts to.
When accepting an invitation to date, you are committing to exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship. But typically you don’t make this obligation with someone who is a friend.
Keep the relationship casual, not allowing attraction and longing to take the lead. Allow your time spent with them to be relaxed and informal. Chances are you will get to know the real man, when you are friends first. With friendships there are less pretenses.
Romantic expectations tend to cloud our perception. Jumping into something new with starry eyes can inhibit the ability to properly discern.
The conflict of light verses darkness will come because the two can not dwell together. You don’t want to face this after the fact. It can be hard on the heart.
It should not take long to determine if a man is walking in the light or still wandering in darkness. Worship, obedience, love, grace; the fruit of the Spirit will flow out easily from the heart of a true man of God.
Then with a solid confirmation from God, you can determine if you should take your friendship to the next level.
Communication is crucial at any stage of a relationship so be clear about your intentions. If you desire to be friends first, be clear about it. Signals between men and women are easily mixed and interpreted wrong.
You want to keep a guard at your heart and be totally attentive to the voice of God. We’ll discuss that more tomorrow. 😉
Love, grace and blessings to you,
Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More
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