I Almost Shut the Door in His Face

After a long dry dating season, things began to pick up for me on the social scene. I was networking more and meeting people via my podcast. It was an exciting time because I felt sure the one God was keeping for me would soon be coming into my life. The thought of it had me ready to bust with joy! Hooray for me! My Boaz was coming! My Boaz was coming!

I have heard the phrase, “Don’t wait until the battle is over; shout now.” This means that even though you are even now struggling, waiting, and enduring, you should give God the praise in advance for your victory. It means that you keep believing God and live joyfully as if God has already answered your prayer because you know He will.

The lesson of this blog – I did not do that.

I believed my battle is over. All these wonderful men of God I’m meeting, I know I don’t have to wait much longer.

But sometimes our time isn’t God’s time.

And that truth is perfectly okay because as I always say, He knows what is best for us. And that was the kind of heart I needed while waiting on my love to come. I needed the mindset that if I meet my true love today, all praises be to God! And if I don’t ………..all praises be to God!

So one evening while waiting on a date to pick me up for dinner, I had the horrible attitude that it was all or none. If this guy wasn’t everything I wanted and everything I dreamed about, then that was it. I was finished and there would be no more hope for me. Poor guy, if he only knew the pressure he was really under. Now this man was kind and attractive. I’d known him for a little while but something came over me when he knocked and I opened the door. It’s difficult to put into words exactly what I was feeling at that moment. He was standing there with an optimistic smile, looking forward to finding love himself. But when I fixed my eyes upon him it was as if I were gazing at the most gruesome looking creature imaginable. No, he wasn’t Freddy Krueger’s twin. No, he wasn’t the spitting image of a naked mole rat.  

It was worse. Much worse…

He wasn’t the man I was going to marry!!!!!!!!!!

You know how sometimes you just know? Especially as you get older… you’ve seen and heard it all. So with some men, it doesn’t take long to figure out that flickers of romance just aren’t there.

I saw him, knew our fate, and I wanted to slam the door right in his face.

Yes, I know how cruel that sounds. I’m embarrassed that I felt that way. But it was out of a feeling of defeat that I wanted to slam that door. I was panicked inside. I was weary. I wanted to run. My heart knew that this wasn’t my love. This wasn’t my soul mate. This was not the man that I would love and cherish for a lifetime. This was not the man I had already waited so many years for.

I screamed inside, WHEN God? WHEN?!!

Instead, I should have had praise for God no matter what. I should have been grateful no matter what. God had already given me everything I needed according to His riches and love. But I allowed myself to get caught up in selfishness and thoughtless thinking. We must be careful how we idolize the blessing above the One who gives the blessings. That is Jesus.

You can probably imagine how the rest of the evening went. How do you tell a nice man that arrived at your door, “You know what? This really isn’t going to work and I am very unhappy about it. God bless and good-bye.”

Now, of course I didn’t slam the door in his face. I smiled politely and got in his car, but I made the date miserable because of my self-pity. He was no doubt sorry he ever met me.

It was no big deal that he wasn’t my Boaz. If I had to go back I would and have a fun time with a friend. That’s how I approached future dates from that point on.

A bad date or a series of meeting the wrong guy can be discouraging, but soon I learned to take on a new attitude. No longer did I put so much pressure on a date with someone. This guy was funny, handsome, and a faithful Christian.

This guy was great, but not meant for me. And that is okay, because he was created for someone else …and someone else for him.

Praising God in the battle,

Miss Love in Waiting