Encouragement | How to Get Over a Crush

Encouragement | How to Get Over a Crush…for the Spirit filled Christian Woman

Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. (Proverbs 4:26 ESV)

 

Developing a crush on someone is not something that only unbelievers do.

I frequently receive emails requesting prayer and advice asking how to get over a crush. Some crushes are minor and insignificant while others are indeed crushing to the heart.

getting over a crushThe pain can be unbearable and the answers on how to overcome seem so far away.

One could list hundreds of ways on how to get over a crush. But the remedy for Christian women in relationship with God differs from secular solutions.

There are hundreds of articles and YouTube videos giving advice on how to get the man you’re crushing on. You’ll find advice on how to make him notice you and how to get him to start chasing after you.

However, as daughters of God, our heavenly Father is very active in writing your love story.

The Lord can see through the shell of a man to know if he is the right one for you. If you desire marriage, God wants you to have a blessed one. So His perfect will and insight must be considered before we assign our affections to another.

Nevertheless, we like what we like. And although we wait on God, the new guy that joined your Bible study group has you smitten.

In my early twenties I was infatuated with a certain young man…for several years. So speaking from experience, I wish that I had not let my crush linger on for as long as it did.

When it was forced to end because he married another woman, I felt cheated. I know. I know. He did not belong to me. But sometimes the heart turns a deaf ear to reason.

I promised myself that I would never again invest my heart in love that is unsure. I established emotional and physical boundaries when I found myself attracted to someone and I kept that vow.

A crush can contribute to having a false sense of Christian hope. Instead of searching for spiritual understanding our hearts wonder aimlessly with fingers crossed and wishing with uncertainty.   

Because God is unfailing, we can trust that He will bring the right person and a right relationship into our lives. God can see beyond what is impressive to you and lead you to the man He has kept just for you.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. (Jeremiah 17:7 ESV)

Having a crush on someone is a stumbling block that hinders many of God’s desires for His people.

God wants for you…

…a peaceful and grateful heart

…to fully trust Him for all things

…to be anxious for nothing

…to have a temperate spirit

…to rejoice always

…to be fully available to His plan

…to walk by faith and not live in fear

…to come to the knowledge of truth

…to have life more abundantly

Even though it was apparent that the man I was crushing on had no romantic interest in me, I held on. As much as it hurt to see him or hear his voice, I held on. I couldn’t understand it but my heart did not want to let go.

Perhaps as much as having a crush hurt me, it was a crutch for my singleness.

Remember, for many years I was not a “healthy” single person. I was limping through life depending on the love of a man to keep me from falling.

See, I wanted to be married more than anything. Allowing my affection to grow for this man, gave me a sense of hope. But the hope was not from God.

There was a sense of comfort in daydreaming about him and merging him into my yearning for marriage. A false hope generated in my heart and it replaced true Christian hope.

After many days of disappointing encounters and tear filled nights, I reclaimed my heart. Overcoming did not come easy but I prayed for an increase in my faith. I then rested in Christian hope.

True Christian hope is based on God’s promises. His promises are true and always manifest in their time. 

Reclaim your hope in God today…hope for what He has in store for you.

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. (Romans 15:13 KJV)

Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions So They Don’t Control You
Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You Are Going: Learning How to Live a Joyful Spirit-Led Life
Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life by Sarah Jakes

Your in Christ,
Candra Evans, 
Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More

 

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CSCS Advanced Face Serum Review

CSCS Advanced Face Serum Review

Blessings women of God! I have another beauty review for you! I was sent the CSCS Advanced Face Serum to try for my skin.

I never worried much about skin care in my twenties and thirties, but things have recently changed. It’s not that I am opposed to getting older. Nor am I searching the market for a fountain of youth.

But many woman at every age desires to look her best and I am not exempt.

At the same time I do my best to stay away from beauty and health products that contain chemicals and synthetic ingredients.

According to healthproductreports.com, a serum is a product specially formulated to help skin concerns. In my instance I struggle with fine lines and aggressive sagging. The sagging is not so much an age thing as it is inherited.

Serums are supposed to penetrate the skin deeper than a normal moisturizer to improve its condition. The CSCS Advanced Face Serum is a pure hyaluronic serum. Hyaluronic acid is found naturally in our bodies and encourages moisture, firmness and smooth skin.

This formula is gentle on the skin and acts as a humectant drawing in and maintaining moisture.

 

What’s Inside…CSCS Advanced Face Serum

The ingredients in the CSCS Advanced Face Serum are natural and organic!

  • De-ionized Water
  • Sodium Hyaluronate
  • Isothiazolinones as preservative (developed by organic chemists)

 

My Results…

After cleansing, I apply several drops around my face and massage with my fingertips. If you wear makeup it is recommended to allow the serum to completely dry, which it only takes seconds.

After my very first application I could feel my skin tightening. The instructions recommend using the serum twice daily, but I have to be honest. I have some evenings where my goal is to get dinner on the table, spend time with God, spend time with hubby and get to bed as soon as possible. 🙂

Still, even once daily has made a tremendous change in my complexion and the texture of my skin.

Another plus is that you can find the CSCS Advanced Face Serum in two different bottle sizes. I have the 2 fluid ounce bottle and it appears it will be several months before I will need to re-order.

I have found stellar reviews of the product across the web and I am throwing in my thumbs up with all the rest!

Being forty is awesome and I wouldn’t change my age for anything. Still I want to be as healthy as possible from the inside, out.

As a Christian woman, what is your take on serums and other beauty aids?

 

Your Sister in Christ,

Candra E.

Stay tuned for my next posts:

* “Do I Treat God Like My Dentist?”
* “Getting Over a Crush for Christians”
100% Pure Hyaluronic Acid Serum 2oz

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Bayleaf Botanicals Fractionated Coconut Oil Review

fractionated coconut oilBayleaf Botanicals Fractionated Coconut Oil

In recent years coconut oil has become such an influential part of my daily life that I now blog about it. I cook with organic coconut oil, drink it in my tea and use it for my hair and skin.

It boosts my energy and has helped slim down my tummy. If you’re a hydrosol or natural oil lover too subscribe to my blog at CoconutBeauty.org. 😉

So how does fractionated coconut oil differ from organic unrefined coconut oil?

Unlike organic coconut oil, fractionated oil does not turn into a solid when the temperature falls below 76 degrees Fahrenheit (24 C).

Organic coconut oil contains both long and medium chain fatty acids. In fractionated coconut oil the long chain fatty acids have been removed leaving you with a fraction of the oil.

Uses and Benefits

Since fractionated coconut oil remains in a liquid state, it makes for a great beauty aid for the hair and skin. It is also used to make homemade soaps, lotions and cosmetics.

Over the last few weeks I have been using the Bayleaf Botanicals Fractionated fractionated coconut oilCoconut Oil. I was skeptical at first because I was unsure that anything could be better than my organic coconut oil.

To my surprise the fractionated coconut oil has done wonders for my skin.

The Bayleaf Botanicals Fractionated Coconut Oil is a natural moisturizer. Even in the summer months I have dry skin here and there. I’ve used this oil daily to hydrate my skin and the moisture lasts throughout the day. I only have to reapply on my hands since I wash them frequently.

It reminds me of baby oil except its non-greasy and will not clog your pores…or stain your clothes.

Fractionated coconut oil can be used on your hair as well. It’s said to have the same softening impact on your hair as organic coconut oil.

Although I expect to go through my bottle within a few months, the shelf life of fractionated coconut oil is around five years. If you are a fan of other carrier oils, you can blend them with fractionated coconut oil and extend their shelf life.

For me, the only downside of fractionated coconut oil is that it is scent free. For others this may be a good thing but I miss the fragrance of coconut oil when I use it. 

The Bayleaf Botanicals Fractionated Coconut Oil comes with a pump for easy dispensing. The bottle sits stable on my shelf and I use about 3 to 4 pumps after I shower. It gives me skin a beautiful sheen and it’s soft to the touch.

I will purchase this product when this bottle is finished. As a matter of fact it’s already in my Amazon wish list. 🙂

If you would like a close up look at this oil, feel free to watch my video review. Love you ladies to life!

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou

In case you missed it…”Christian Single Men, Abstinence and God’s Grace”

 

I received this product freely from Bayleaf Botanicals. This is my honest review and I only share health and beauty information that is in fact a significant part of my life.

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Emotional Eating | Turn To God First

Emotional Eating | Turn to God First

This girl here loves food. My relationship with food is on better terms now but when I was a little girl I developed a pattern of emotional eating.

Emotional eating is turning to food for comfort, safety, or happiness. On many occasions I gobbled down food to counteract boredom and loneliness.

My grandmothers and both parents have always been great cooks. So it was easy to connect good feelings with good food. Unless there were lima beans on my plate, I ate until I was beyond full.

I was only a child so I never said, “Hmmm… I’m feeling sad today, let me eat ice cream.” I’m not sure if most people consciously plan to use food as an emotional outlet. For me, it just happened over time.

emotional eatingFood contented me and I felt satisfied. It was a temporary override to the aspect of me that was unhappy. After awhile it was automatic to crave certain foods when my soul felt empty.

I didn’t know then that there was a God that I could turn to meet my emotional needs.

In elementary school my cousins teased me about my belly. I had skinny arms, skinny legs and a swollen stomach. Not because of genetics or slow metabolism, I just loved to eat.

When I turned 12 my belly fat started to make its move to other parts of my body. I cared a little about being overweight, but not like I cared about food. They don’t call it “comfort food” for nothing. Food truly made me happy.

The glitch was that I had to keep eating to maintain contentment. This is not a good thing when sugar and fried foods are what satisfies you most.

I was an only child and didn’t have many friends. I felt lonely, but food was my escape. With money I saved, I visited the convenience store on my way home from school almost every day.

Then I’d plop on the sofa, watch television and indulge in barbecue chips, pecan rolls, Sugar Daddy caramels, and a giant pickle. That was my favorite combination of junk food bliss. I had it all consumed before my mom arrived home and still made room for dinner.

I signed up for the high school track team when I was in seventh grade and ran track and cross country until I graduated. Being an athlete helped me to lose weight. I exercised all the time but my emotional eating habits did not change.

This may sound ideal. Eat whatever you want and run laps to burn calories. But in short, I turned into a thin person who was unhealthy and still emotionally broken.

After high school I had an opportunity to be a walk on for the track team at my university, but I was not fast enough to be competitive. So, I hung up my running shoes and gained twenty pounds.

Emotional Eating vs. Prayer

By this time I had just begun my journey with God. I was new to the faith and knew very little scriptures. Prayer was something I only did on occasion because I wasn’t sure how to pray.

My habit of emotional eating was hard to break. Food was still the thing I turned to first for bits of satisfaction.

Then I reached a point in my life where food failed me. I looked to food to be my savior but there is only one.

I went through a deep depression and I wasn’t happy with myself. There wasn’t a 5 minutes of prayerpastry, pork chop or plate of macaroni and cheese that could deliver me.

I wasn’t that little girl restricted to a few dollars worth of junk food. I was making my own money, lived in my own apartment and could eat as much as I wanted.

However like everything else we put before God, emotional eating failed me. The stress in my life was too big for McDonald’s to handle. After a Big Mac (or two) my problems remained and I was still hurting.

Then the depression had a different effect on my mind. I became repulsed by the food that I once took comfort in. Feeling overwhelmed with hopelessness I turned my plate away.

My weight dropped so fast and I became so thin that some were concerned that I turned to anorexia to lose weight. I found no solace in loving food or hating it.

Emotional eating filled by belly but it did not satisfy my soul. I wanted cookies and cakes to be the glue to mend my broken heart, but it only added to my frustration. Food was a band aid for wounds that were too deep and wide.

Our emotional distress is often connected to a spiritual need. Life will always have its problems but we can find peace and the strength to stand by depending on the power of prayer. God must come first in all things. Even in our struggles, first seek the Kingdom of God.

Spiritual things strengthen our spirit.

When everything else failed, all I had left was prayer. It should not have been a surprise to me but prayer was enough to jump-start my joy. On my knees, bowed before God, I firmly put my trust in Him.

In that moment a wind of peace and safety blew over me. It was comfort food for my soul. God said all that I needed, He would supply.

After praying more than I ever had before my perspective on life and who I am as a woman of God changed. Talking with God and hearing His Word inspired me to transform my entire life from the inside out.

God broke the chain of emotional eating in my life.

I prayed more, controlled my food portions and stopped depending on food to comfort me. Prayer is where I find refuge in times of trouble.

We sometimes mistake spiritual hunger for something else. If we only reach to appease the appetite of our fleshly bodies, the essence of who we are remains hungry and thirsty for change. It is nothing short of trying to fill a bottomless bucket.

 “…but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up unto eternal life.” (John 4:14 ASV)

Do I enjoy food today? You better believe it! The right foods are gifts from God to give strength and wellness to live life abundantly.

There is nothing wrong with appreciating good food, but I keep food in its appropriate place. When I need emotional relief I first turn my heart to prayer and communion with God. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

 

Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

~Candra Evans

Join and conversation and comment below!

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My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian

My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian

You’re leaving church on Sunday and one of your best sister-friends approaches you. She’s glowing all over. You figure she’s either had an anointed encounter with God during morning worship or….she met a man. (Smile) Since she’s been single for awhile, you figure that it is probably the latter.

Before she gets a word out you ask with a grin, “What’s his name?”

Six months ago she met him at a marketing conference in Atlanta and next week he is flying in to see her. She’s ecstatic. She’s overjoyed. This man is everything she’s ever wanted.

She brags about his career, education, physique and how romantic he is. They’ve been talking on the phone, snap chatting and face timing on a daily basis. She’s driven down to see him twice since their first meeting. “This is love!” she shouts in a high pitch tone.

You take notice that she mentions nothing about his relationship with God. So you follow up with, “Is He a born again Christian?”

She stutters. She stammers. She hesitates as she tries to come up with a spiritual answer.

She replies “Well no, but he does not mind that I am a Christian.”

It is almost the ideal situation. She would prefer that he was equally yoked with her in faith, but at least he will not hinder her walk with God. He was even somewhat impressed by her Bible knowledge.

He’s cool with the fact that she sings in the choir and never misses a Bible study. Plus, he promised that he would come to church with her one day soon.

This is just a fictional illustration, but the reality of this scenario is, well, real. The “He does not mind that I am a Christian” rational is a slippery slope to climb.

does not mind that I am a ChristianI met a man I really liked and he pursued me for several months. I have to confess that it was nice to get that kind of attention.

The hiccup was that he wasn’t into the “church thing”, but didn’t mind that God was a vital part of my life. What he didn’t realize was that when I left church, I didn’t clock out until the next Sunday. My relationship with God was a daily involvement.

I had someone encourage me to go for it. “You can lead him to Christ”, she said. “It worked for me”, she insisted.  She was in her sixties at the time and I wanted to ask how many years of marriage she had to wait until “it worked”. But I didn’t want to be disrespectful.

I gave it some thought and after three dates, he was already asking me to compromise my convictions. This was also after he visited my church a few times.

We can only lead a double hearted life for so long. At some point we have to make a decision as to which path we will travel.

Oxen that are unequally tied together cannot work together successfully. Their goal is to plow for farming and carry heavy loads. There is a profitable end if both of them work as one.

The believer and the unbeliever are traveling different paths. They’re aiming at different marks and running toward different finish lines. Their futures are not the same.

Their paths may cross and parallel just long enough to meet and create a soul tie, but the two paths will eventually shift and become worlds apart. It may not look this way today, but in the future, things change.

He may say that he doesn’t care if you’re a Christian, but how he thinks about love and life will naturally contradict God’s perfect will. This is so for all of us before walking in the Spirit of God.

Your choices for your life are Biblical and faith based. The actions and believe system of an unbeliever is based on various other foundations.

Being with him feels good but the path He’s traveling on has not been paved by God. Because the yoke is not even, you will be pulled backward and forward. Things move too quickly and your heart is spinning in circles. You will have to unyoke from one path or the other.

Cutting romantic ties with an unbeliever is the best choice, but not necessarily easy. Depending on how much of yourself you have given to him, it can be devastating to let go. However, letting go of God is a greater loss.

Romantic gestures are a cheap exchange for your place in God. I’ve never heard a woman of faith say that a man did her better than God. Rather when the new love turns old, there is desperation to be restored back to her blessed place in the Lord.

Heartbreak is less inevitable when the desires of you, your man, and God fall in line together. It makes your journey in life a shared one, which manifests perfect harmony, honesty and love without conditions.

There is no pulling or competing for your heart. If you both abide in Christ, Christ will abide in both of you. You will both travel the same path, moving forward hand in hand without the hardship of letting go.

Companion Scripture (I Corinthians 6:14-18)

What are your thoughts? If commitment to Christ is not the same, can two live happily ever after as one?

~Candra Evans

 

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Abundant Life | Looking Up by Candra Evans

When I thought life was not worth living, I looked up. I literally looked toward the sky, beyond the clouds and into the heavens. My sight could only traverse so many shades of blue sky, but my heart advanced to the throne of God. Two words that described all that my heart could see was “abundant life”.

Abundant Life Look UpJob declared that a man (and woman) is but a few days and full of trouble. But I found that the fullness of trouble is tied to this present earth. It is tied to the faults of human nature and carnal things.

Jesus died that we might have eternal life, and eternal life exceeds the boundaries of our humanness.

Life seems empty when we only measure its value by the amount of money we have or the number of people we can depend on. Whether you have or have not, life is much more than this.

If I focus on what I don’t have or compare my life to the woman next door, I will miss the prospect of abundant living. Therefore, I stand in the foreground of a pink, orange, and purple sunset, and I am reminded that God has enlarged my territory. The quality of my life is not limited.

Because God is in me and I am in Him, my disappointments and heartache is not the end of my story. I may have failed but God’s mercy endures forever.

I have fallen down. I have been pushed down. But when I look up, I am lifted up.

I look up to align my thoughts with the ways of Heaven. I pray to live a life of peace, love, and optimism in spite of my circumstances. This is hard to do when my head is bowed down and I’ve narrowed my vision to everything that is wrong.

Abundant life is reachable when I put God before my circumstance.

When I look up, I become engaged with all the wonders of Heaven. It helps me set my heart free from anger and fear. This probably sounds silly to some. Looking up? Placing such great value on what cannot be seen? Preposterous, some would say.

But what would happen if we let go and trust God’s ways. How could things change if showing love became more important than getting even? What if we captured every negative thought and made them subject to the truth of God’s Word? Abundant Life.

How abundant can life possibly be? Is it as vast as our faith in God? Is the potential of abundant life without limits?

My resolve is firm that life can be as full, as plentiful and as abounding as the existence of our God.

~ Candra Evans
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