10 Reasons Why Feeling Sad Is Hard To Do | by Candra Evans

10 Reasons Why Feeling Sad Is Hard To Do | by Candra Evans

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. There is an appointed time for dancing and an appointed time for mourning.

I will not say that you should not have sad moments in your life. It happens to all of us. Even the most optimistic have their bouts with feeling sad. The loss of someone or something dear to us triggers this emotion easily.Feeling Sad Happiness Loading

Then there are times when feeling sad is based on perspective and how we perceive things to be. I don’t know about you but I’ve had many good cries on my pillow at night over issues that were not as bad as I thought.

If I had looked at my circumstance with eyes of faith, I would have had more restful nights. Often the bark of potential trouble is worse than its bite.

Every time I am overwhelmed by calamity, left alone, let down, or can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I remember these 10 things. My perspective then changes. My vision is clearer. And my faith gives “feeling sad” a run for its money.

When it hurts, I bring back to my remembrance these 10 affirmations of my faith in God. And in the midst of my storm, I dance.

1. Jesus loves me both now and forever.

2. If God is for me who can prevail against me?

3. At the end of my journey is victory. It is not over until I win.

4. If what I am holding on to is only hurting me, I have the freedom to let it go.

5. For every friend that did not support me, God sent a stranger to help me. Then we became friends.

6. My heart has been broken before. I lived. I started over again. Life is better now. 

7. The size of my blessing is not predetermined by my bank account. God shall supply all of my needs according to “His” riches in glory.

8. Faith still works.

9. By His wounds, I am healed. #Jesus

10. “Then the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:17-18 ESV)

 

What affirmations or statements of faith strengthen your heart when you’re feeling sad?

Click here for more articles! The Best of the Abundantly You Blog!

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Candra Evans Abundantly You Blog Christian WomenAbundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page

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Overcoming The Sorrow… Day 17 – The Perils Of A Crush

I used to think that having a crush on someone was a teenage thing. You see someone from afar and want to speak but you’re too shy. You love their look and how they talk and soon the very thought of that person sends your head spinning. Yes, I thought this was teenage stuff… until it happened to me at twenty-something and until I heard it happening to others at thirty-something… forty something… and so on.

No matter our age, there is something that remains constant… we will always have the challenge of managing our emotions.

crushIt’s called a crush because when the person of interest does not express a mutual interest, it causes confusion, frustration, and sorrow.

We desperately question if this is the person God has planned for us to marry. We are frustrated because we can’t get a read on his emotions. And once he moves on to date or marry someone else we are back to sorrow.

Crushes are emotional traps that we must avoid at all cost. A simple liking that turns into a full crush, can distort realty and make our emotions difficult to manage.

I got over my own crush by making a firm decision to move on with my life. Quite frankly, I was tired of chasing. I concluded that this is not what love does. Love does not deceive, mislead, or leave in us in an abyss of confusion.

Create boundaries in relationships where necessary. Be aware of those first initial tugs at the heart and clearly establish the reality of what’s happing.

Squash a “crush” before it crushes your happiness and the path to God’s true plan for your life. 

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God Chasers: Pursuing the Lover of Your Soul by Tommy Tenny

Transitioning For the Blessing

Life is full of change. From one year to the next and often from one day to the next, you never know what transition is going to take place in your life. I usually find change to be refreshing. I love experiencing new things and connecting with new people. However, gigantic shifts in life can be overwhelming for even someone like me.

But we can’t ask God for growth, increase, and blessings without a transition.

We must expect change in the process of it all. So I am praying to be careful not to resist the changes that God is making in my life because I know it is all working for my good. There are people in my life that I have been close to for years. The love between us will never change but based on how God is blessing them and me, it means moving in opposite directions. Is it hard to let go? Yes, sometimes it is.

Receiving a blessing from the Lord may require releasing people and things we’ve held on to for years.

For example my cousin Anna is leaving for college. I’ve been attached to her since she came into this world. Her diaper was the first one I’d ever changed. We are cousins but to her I’ve always been aunt Candra. Now the years have passed, she’s eighteen years old, and preparing to move away to attend college. It’s a blessing for her. It’s a blessing for her parents and the rest of our family. It’s what we’ve prayed for. Her IQ is off the charts, so we wanted her to be accepted into a top university and receive an abundance of scholarships. And God blessed her. He answered our prayer. And now it is time for the shift. I won’t see her every week at church. I won’t hear her sweet voice in the choir. My heart breaks when I think about her being away from home, but the transition is necessary for the blessing.

That is just one of many changes, shifts, and transitions going on in my life right now. When it comes to falling in love, there are transitions that take place. Most of the time it’s exciting. Sometimes it’s strange. Sometimes it feels more like loss than increase. But we must hold on to our faith and know that God is advancing. Even when it feels like we’re losing or going through some backward spiral.

Our relation to time and space is not like God’s.

Our backwards motions and drastic shifts are often advancements in the spiritual realm. When we pray and ask God for marriage, children, a new career, ministry, spiritual deliverance, or financial breakthroughs, be prepared to be molded and shaped to fit the blessing. Let us not complain or fuss when change doesn’t feel good. Let us worship God still, because the change is working for our good.

God bless you in your waiting and transitioning,

Miss Love In Waiting

He Prays For Me

The most common question asked of single women…

“What are you looking for in a husband?”

Often, we’ll list our wants before our needs. But as I continued to seek God about my husband, my needs took precedence and eventually became one with my wants. What I wanted became what I needed and vice versa.

“What are you looking for in a husband?”

In times past when asked this question, I would begin with the outer appearance…. tall, dark skinned, dreaming eyes, slim to medium build, etc…. Then I would work my way into personality traits… great sense of humor, compassionate, faithful, etc… And last but not least, spirituality…. Holy Ghost filled, baptized believer, active in the church, passionate about winning souls, and a warrior in prayer.

Now, of course I want it all (smile), but let me change some things here. I mean a tall, sexy, dreaming eyed man who won’t pray? That relationship would last about a minute with me. Now when asked that question, I work my way backwards.

“What am I looking for in a husband?”  I start with… “a warrior in prayer”.

A man can look as fine as he wants to look, talk as smooth as he wants to talk, and have as much money as he wants to have; but life is intricate, marriage is complex, and raising children is challenging. Muscles are nice, but I need a man that can PRAY!!! (Smile)

I want a husband that knows how to do battle on his knees. The answer to any problem we could ever have is in Jesus Christ. He is the answer. When troubles arise we must seek his face. This is how we make it. This is how we press through the pain. This is how we overcome.

Give me a man that’s not afraid to trust in Jesus and call on His name. Give me a man that is humble enough to know when the load is too heavy for him to carry alone. Give me a man that is wise enough to know where our help comes from. It comes from the Lord.

Ronald.

He is my love, my best friend… I am attracted to him in every way… but above all else….

He prays for me.

At the end of a date, he takes my hand in his and without any formal announcement; he begins to call on the name of the Lord. When I tell him about my day, he notes every word. When opportunity is there, he prays… repeating all my concerns, casting to God all my cares; God answers his prayers and I am blessed.

Ladies, as you put together your list of “must haves” for the husband of your dreams… Put prayer at the top of your list! And I am a witness that if you put God first in all things, He will bless you with ALL your heart desires.

Yours in Christ,

Miss Love in Waiting

All I Need to Know

There is nothing in all creation like the love of God. My alarm went off this morning, and before I fully opened my eyes, they flooded with tears. In an instant I felt overwhelmed by all of my problems at the same time. That doesn’t happen to me very often, but when it does, it’s equivalent to trying to carry an elephant on my back. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t focus. There’s just enough strength to form my lips to say, “Jesus, help me.”

The struggles and trials of a single woman aren’t always “single” related. Each of us as individuals has problems that can stem from work, raising children, finances, or sickness. We tend to believe at times that if we had a spouse, things would be perfect. They can help carry the load. But, I’ve heard this is not always the case. Before or after marriage, we need Jesus. Sometimes we will have needs that our spouses won’t understand. As much love as two married people have for each other, they won’t be together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They won’t share every struggle.

God decrees his love to travel deep into the soul, touch the deepest part of us, and lift us up. Where the love of humankind (even with the most excellent intentions) falls short, the love of God continues to advance.

“Jesus, help me.” was my weary cry this morning. I hit the snooze button, rolled over, buried my face in my pillow, and rolled over again. Then these words impressed on my heart.

“Rise up, and trust Me. I love you.”

I thought I’d feel better if I could just problem solve and figure out all the answers. Turns out all I needed to hear this morning was that Jesus loves me. Since He loves me, He’ll keep me. As the hours unfold for the day, He will guide my every step. He will preserve me. The week will be trying, but it won’t destroy me….God loves me. Everything will be alright.

In my heart is a classic song written by the late Elder Albert Morton, Sr. from Cincinnati, Ohio. (Shared with me by gospel artist FreddieB Behanan…)

All I need to know… is that you love me Jesus.

All I need to know is that you care.

All I need to hear in the time of trouble,

Is that you were there…

Miss Love in Waiting

Loving Me Means Loving You

I’m a firm believer that if you can’t be good TO yourself, you won’t be good FOR anybody else.  I often ask the question, “Why did it take so long for me to find love?” I could speculate on the answers all day. But one thing I know for sure is that the love I had for myself wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to spill over into somebody else.

This has nothing to do with conceit or vanity. How many women have put themselves on the bottom of their to-do list? They go from early in the morning to late in the evening serving their families, bosses, and community. But at some point in the midst of their service, they need to love themselves enough to refuel. No one else can do it for her.

If she doesn’t care about herself or if she doesn’t think she’s worth it, she’ll go down in flames. And heaven help all those that depend on her.

Many times in my life I stretched myself too thin; never knew how to say no. In my mind, if I did all I could then I would win the love of people. That was to be my only resource for love. As you can imagine I was greatly disappointed. My motives were misguided. I should have given without looking for anything in return. I was investing care in others looking for a return in love, but the return didn’t always find its way back to me. And as expected, I went down in flames.

The love I desired was already inside of me. It was a gift from God that I neglected to open for pretty much most of my life. Through the Word of God, I read that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. No, I don’t look like Miss Universe. Nope, can’t sing like Yolanda Adams. Oprah Winfrey would chuckle at my checking account. And I’ll probably never have abs like Shelly from the Taebo videos. (Smile) But this I know…there is no one else in the world like me. There is no one else in the world like you.

It’s not the end of my world if I’m ignored or forgotten because other people’s actions don’t validate who I am. For crying out loud, Jesus loves me! Does it get any better than that? (Smile)

Loving me means doing what is best for me and making right decisions for my life. Loving me means eating better, exercising, praying, and keeping my house in order. I am motivated to do for others with joy, because I’m fueled up with love! The levels that I will love my husband will be off the charts!

I won’t need to drain him of all his strength, because I have my own. We’ll balance each other, not complete each other.

Even with all my shortcomings, I love who I am and feel confident in the woman that God has created me to be. There is an endless resource of love inside of me imparted straight from God. I can pour that love into others day after day and never be depleted.

An endless well of waters flowing and flowing…

Loving me, means loving you.

Miss Love in Waiting

http://sufficientgrace.org

Why Wait?

It has been way too long since I’ve blogged and I am without excuse! I hope and pray that all are doing well and are greatly encouraged!

I thought this would be a good time to update everyone on my current relationship status. If we are friends on facebook, you already know the scoop. And if we’re not friends on facebook, let’s make that happen okay?! Lol… Technically I am still “Miss” Love in Waiting, but “Love” has come upon me like a torrential rain. Literally, it feels like perpetual showers of love pouring over me. Yet my days are bright and warm.

It feels overwhelmingly incredible because I didn’t take the easy road and chose to wait…on the Lord. To God be the glory.

There are many blessings in “Waiting”. I had some difficulty seeing them over the last decade and a half, but finally they are blossoming in clear view.

APPRECIATION – I love every little detail of our dates. Night walks around the city, flowers, sharing dreams of the future, long drives with an occasional stop for ice cream, are like gold to me. The gratitude in my heart makes me happy to get out of bed in the morning versus curling up like a ball under the covers in the lower left quadrant of the bed. The joy of the Lord mixed with thankfulness of getting what I really wanted makes for a jubilant me. Our Heavenly Father does not want us to be like spoiled brats, taking for granted and abusing his blessings.

STRENGTH – But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31) I am a living testimony that waiting will not destroy you, no matter how you may feel. The key is to wait “on the Lord”. Strength and honor will become who you are. And that makes you incredibally attractive by the way.

PATIENCE – There is always room for me to grow in patience. It is a wonderful “waiting” blessing. There’s something special about looking back over the years, reflecting over intolerant times, and knowing that you have overcome. Once those patience muscles start developing, you’ll find that it makes this life so much easier to bear. Whether it is love, healing, finances, knowledge, understanding, etc…we’ll always be waiting on something. So might as well learn to loosen up and relax in the process. Life is much more pleasurable this way.

Whatever it is you are waiting for, hold on and never compromise as a means to giving up.

Truly God knows what’s best for us…when our eyes cannot see.

Seeing the blessings,

Miss Love in Waiting

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Ouch! That Hurt!

As a single woman I’ve suffered from the following aches and pains:

And it’s okay…you can smile.

  • Your biological clock is ticking while your high school friend’s oldest son prepares for college.
  • Your thirty-something and still not quite sure where to put your hands when holding a baby.
  • Someone calls you an old maid and later that evening you find a new wrinkle.
  • Your nineteen year old cousin asks, “Remember when I was little and you asked me to be your flower girl?”
  • People assume that there must be something wrong with YOU. You explain that it’s not your fault. They don’t believe you.
  • You tell friends and family that you have a new boyfriend and they rejoice like you’ve just won the publishers clearance house sweepstakes. As if the odds were that much against you.
  • Over the years you’ve caught your fair share of bridal bouquets. So now when a bride tosses the bouquet to the single ladies, you go for another piece of cake instead.

Think I’m making this stuff up? (Smile) Praise God I can laugh about it now.

Every now and then being single may be painful. But I had to keep in mind that being single is as challenging as I’ve allowed it to be. All those things listed above are part of my “single” story. Sometimes I chose to laugh and sometimes I chose to pout; even though none was really more tragic than the other (except maybe the wrinkle thing). Writing about them now tickles me and with some tweaking could be great material for a late night talk show monologue. However, my main point is that it’s up to us individually to create enough joy in our life that it heals the stings, pinches, and pains aimed at our heart (and ego).

Translate from being pathetically single to being single with a purpose!

Jump in the deep end of your gifts and talents. Gain strength and confidence in who God is and who He has created you to be. It matters less what others think about your situation and more how God has your situation under control.

Sometimes I just look to the heavens and say, “Okay, Lord…here I am. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I’m determined to trust in You. You know my need. You know the desires of my heart. I will be grateful because many would love to be in my shoes today. I am blessed and I’m surrounded by friends and family who love me. ” Let God know how much you appreciate what He’s already done in your life. Count those blessings and the aches of singleness will fade and heal. Besides thanks and appreciation makes room for more blessings!

Thanks for sharing a few laughs with me this post.

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Yours in Christ,

Miss Love In Waiting

Saving All My Love

It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Saving oneself for marriage that is.

My blog differs from other singles blogs in that I believe whole heartedly in the Biblical ideal of marriage. Having sex outside of marriage is not God’s plan for a man and a woman. God said that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled. Now from this point on I’ve probably lost a lot of readers, but I have to be real with what I believe.

I’ve heard my fair share of reasons for sex outside of marriage. “We’re just so in love”, says one. “We’re going to get married anyway”, says another. “As long as we are only committed to having sex with each other, we’re not hurting anyone else”, says many more. These are all seemingly intelligent, logical, and heartfelt explanations.

But allow me to offer reasons to wait. There are hundreds. Here are just a few…

  1. It is the will of God. Many Christians hang their faith outside the bedroom door. It can be easy to do. You love this person. They love you. The chemistry and attraction is there. The mood is romantic and all of a sudden Ephesians 5:3 can not be recalled to memory. Sex is a natural way to express love. It is the way God designed it. However, Christian women and men should remember that He designed these feelings to be shared between husband and wife. This is not a hidden mystery.
  2. A crowded bed is uncomfortable. When sex becomes casual and a normal part of dating, monogamy is thrown out the window. This means two parties are not only sleeping with each other, but everyone else they’ve slept with, and everyone their exes slept with, and so on. Makes the king size bed feel like a hammock, doesn’t it?
  3. Sexually transmitted diseases don’t discriminate. Enough said.
  4. “Well, Susie used to do it this way.” Ugh! Good grief! Do we really want to compare or be compared to ex sexual partners? Talk about taking the passion and romance out of what is supposed to be an intimate and precious act.
  5. I did this for you. Now how excited will your husband be to know that you saved yourself just for him. Before you knew him, you believed that he was out there somewhere. You knew he’d be worth the wait. He would completely commit to you by placing his ring on your hand. He would love more than just your body, but passionately love your soul and spirit. This man will honor and respect your relationship with God. He would cherish your thoughts and the very essence of who God created you to be. Don’t you know this man is out there? I knew mine was. Couldn’t you, wouldn’t you, desire in your heart to save yourself for this man?

And before you say, “It’s too late for me to save myself”, God has restoration power.

He offers the power to regenerate your soul and heal you from all the wounds that fornication leaves behind. Please do not be deceived. Sex outside of marriage will wound you. But after regeneration, God gives the opportunity to start again and not make the same mistakes of yesterday.

The first shall be last and the last shall be first.

Firsts are supposed to be special. Everything from our first day of school to our first car, are memories to be cherished for a lifetime. Waiting until the wedding night to make love to the man of your dreams will be a memory that will never be forgotten. Waiting through the time of courtship will increase the intimacy and allow couples to know each other on otherwise overlooked dimensions. And above all things, God will honor the union that He has put together. Concerns of did I make a mistake, will he call tomorrow, will he still respect me, what if my coworkers find out, do I know enough about his sexually history….are gone. Honor your body. Let him be your first, your only, and prayerfully your last.

Ye are not your own.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost (which is) in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

 

God bless you in your saving and waiting,

Miss Love in Waiting

It’s My Birthday and I’ll Laugh if I Want To!

Way back in 1975 on a cold January afternoon, my mother gave birth to me, Miss Love in Waiting. With this being 2010, it’s quite easy to calculate my age….thirty-five. Yes, I am thirty-five and single. Okay, why did I hear some of you gasp!? (Smile)

In 2005 when I turned thirty, I thought I would cry, but I didn’t. At thirty-one, I thought surely the tears would flow, but nope…nothing. Now that thirty-five years of my life have come and gone, I’ve settled in my heart that there is nothing to cry about. I don’t know why society puts so much emotion into a number. I tried to fall in line with the accepted response of a woman growing older, but I’m just not feeling it.

The Bible says that there is a time to mourn. It is logical to cry when there is death, hunger, tragedy, or broken relationships. However, I don’t believe that birthdays rank on the “reasons to mourn” list. I have an option to cry or laugh….I choose laughter!

Sometimes we just need to get over our vanity and insecurities and celebrate the life God has given.

January 16th marks my thirty-fifth birthday. I have no children of my own, yet I’m blessed to work in youth ministry. I have never been married, yet I have priceless friendships that will last a lifetime. I’m not a millionaire, yet have a secure job during a time of economic crisis. My legs can’t run as fast as they did when I was seventeen, but today I can run much farther. At thirty-five I am ancient to some and only a baby to others.  I’m growing closer to the dreaded “middle-ages”, but because of Jesus Christ I have eternal life.

I choose to rejoice for my blessings.

This is the start of a new year and another birthday is coming for many of us. I say “many” instead of “all” because some won’t live to see their birthday this year.

Don’t waste time weeping over age and years that have passed. No offense to you beautiful young women in your teens and twenties, but I would never want to do those years over again! I was vulnerable, shy, backwards, and naïve. With little experience with life and relationships, I had to learn some things the hard way…on occasion the excruciating painful way. Therefore, I’m glad to kiss those growing pains good-bye! Bring on some new ones. They will be handled better.

As my life progresses, it is getting sweeter. Courtship is sweeter too! I have met a wonderful man and maturity has helped prosper our relationship. There is an appreciation in me for every detail about him and our relationship. Our connection is not superficial, but loving and spiritual. I take no moment with him for granted, so each day spent with him feels like years. There is substance, knowledge, wisdom, and sincerity between us. Life with him and in Jesus Christ is good.

So, yep I can handle being thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven….

It’s my birthday ya’ll! I’ll laugh if I want to. Hee-Hee!