This guest blog post I Need Him to Change was first published on https://beagirlfriendpraylikeawife.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much sis for sharing.
So this is the phrase that has been a constant in my prayers whenever my boyfriend makes me mad or gets mad at me. I always look up to the Lord and ask him, ‘why does he act like that?’ ‘ Can’t he just change and be this…and that and the other’. I need him to change Lord!
Well, I have been reading ‘The Power of a Praying wife’ and oh wow, I was taken aback.
To come to God to change someone, you have to come with a pure heart, otherwise your prayers will take longer to be answered, because they are not coming from the purity of your heart. If I look back, there are times when my boyfriend and I used to have an argument, and I would kneel before the Lord and cry, and ask him to forgive me and clear my heart of the anger and pray for a change in my boyfriend; funny enough that change would truly occur. On the contrary, whenever, I went to God arguing and blaming my boyfriend, it was like my pleas fell on deaf ears and I was losing.
One thing for sure, is that I cannot come around to telling my boyfriend that something is wrong with him or pointing out his flaws without him being defensive and yet he found it so easy to point out mine. I did not want to be annoying and complain all the time because growing up I knew how annoying a nagging woman can be, and yet my boyfriend said that I sometimes come off annoying…(well its people on the outside who truly know You) ; and I have also promised to stop being on the defensive myself. So back to Stormie, she specifically referred to praying to God to change You first before, he begins to work on the Boyfriend. WHOAH..
So before I wrote this post I asked myself, what is honestly wrong with me. I feel like I have not done anything wrong, he is always in the wrong I said. So, it finally came to me that maybe I can start praying about the things that he vocally complains about me. (Thank God my guy is vocal about such)
- Time Keeping; I did not think it was that big of a deal, until I recalled the expression that he has on his face when I’m late for a date, or spending hours doing my makeup, or not prepared for anything when he comes over. The expression is one that says that he wants to wrap me in a ball and throw me off the balcony. (My guy wants a girlfriend who keeps time or at least shows an effort to keep time)
- Organized; I must confess I am not organized AT ALL!!! Like sometimes I like my mess because I can easily find my stuff through it. But I know how to hide so I do not think he has seen my mess full on (I’m one of those people who usually organize when someone is coming over)
- (a) The other thing that is in the organized categories is the finances. My finances are somewhat a mess. There are times when I have money and other times I am super broke…and I always tell myself that I’m only 23…lol…that is foolish, I know. So he keeps saying he does not mind but I am sure he does, it is not right I need to get myself together
- My phone is unavailable (most of the time) when he needs to talk to me and also when it is on, I do not pick (not intentionally of course). Do You know anyone like this? They really do not mind being offline. I honestly do not mind and I feel like I get a peace of mind. But it drives him mad…Super mad.
- I interrupt him a lot when he is talking. I just cannot seem to shut up! I am so opinionated and I need to understand that some I do not have to really talk and allow my man to feel like a man. Otherwise, we end up in a debate that is makes one of us angry.
So these are the areas that I am asking God to change in me. I am on my knees praying to God to deliver me from those weak points, I am physically going to work at it physically and keep a journal for progress. What are Your weak points that Your boyfriend keeps complaining about?
P.S: And lastly, if you’re still thinking ‘He also has weaknesses’, my response is, let’s be humble, come off our high horse and deal with OURS, then we shall deal with his later.
- Let go of your anger towards him and forgive him; MARK 11:24-25; Ephesians 4:32 Galatians 6:9
- Get on your knees with your pure heart and start praying for Yourself.
This is a sample prayer template which I also borrowed and tweaked from Stormie, you can also modify to suit You.
Oh LORD, I come to You today thanking You for everything that You have given me, the blessings and the love that I receive each and every day. I thank You for the fact that I actually know You or Lord. Thank You for the fact that I am in a relationship with (boyfriend’s name). Thank You for having made us meet for I know that it was no coincidence, for You know all things before they even happen. Lord I kneel down before You today to ask You to help me a good girlfriend for I do not know how to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience and irritability and turn them into kindness, long suffering and the willing ness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mind sets automatic reactions, rude assumptions and self-protective stance and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. TAKE AWAY THE HARDNESS OF MY HEART AND BREAK DOWN THE WALLS I HAVE BUILT. Give me a new heart and work in me Your JOY, PEACE and LOVE.
Show me where there is sin in my heart with regard to (boyfriend’s name) and help me change and transform from being (mention Your weaknesses). Only YOU can change me Lord and make me new. I confess that there are times when I have been critical unloving, judgmental, unsupportive, resentful, rude and mean. I also have built up anger and disappointment towards him but lift all those feelings from my heart. Let me forgive him totally and FORGET. Let the way we COMMUNICATE rise to another level and let us be able to understand each other
Make me (boyfriend’s name) helpmate, companion, friend and number one fan. Let him feel peaceful restful and safe when he is with me. Let me learn how to care for myself and stay attractive to him with utter confidence in spirit, mind and soul. Make him proud of me as his girlfriend.
I lay all my expectations of (boyfriend’s name) at the Cross and release him of the burden of fulfilling me in the areas where I should be looking unto You. Let me accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he might not change but at the same time, I ask You to release him to change in ways that I never thought he could I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and only You are.
Teach me how to pray for my boyfriend and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way that he can truly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we are in agreement about everything. Make us a team not pursuing separate, competitive or independent lives but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the relationship.
I pray that our commitment to You and to one another may grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to head our relationship as You made him to be and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise Breathe Your life into this relationship
Make me a new person Lord and Give me a fresh perspective, a positive, outlook and a renewed relationship with the man You have given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion and acceptance. Give my boyfriend a new girlfriend and let that girlfriend be me.
In Jesus’ name I Pray
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