I Need Him to Change | Guest Post

This guest blog post I Need Him to Change was first published on https://beagirlfriendpraylikeawife.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much sis for sharing.

Hi ladies,

So this is the phrase that has been a constant in my prayers whenever my boyfriend makes me mad or gets mad at me. I always look up to the Lord and ask him, ‘why does he act like that?’ ‘ Can’t he just change and be this…and that and the other’. I need him to change Lord!

Well, I have been reading ‘The Power of a Praying wife’ and oh wow, I was taken aback.

To come to God to change someone, you have to come with a pure heart, otherwise your prayers will take longer to be answered, because they are not coming from the purity of your heart. If I look back, there are times when my boyfriend and I used to have an argument, and I would kneel before the Lord and cry, and ask him to forgive me and clear my heart of the anger and pray for a change in my boyfriend; funny enough that change would truly occur. On the contrary, whenever, I went to God arguing and blaming my boyfriend, it was like my pleas fell on deaf ears and I was losing.

One thing for sure, is that I cannot come around to telling my boyfriend that something is wrong with him or pointing out his flaws without him being defensive and yet he found it so easy to point out mine. I did not want to be annoying and complain all the time because growing up I knew how annoying a nagging woman can be, and yet my boyfriend said that I sometimes come off annoying…(well its people on the outside who truly know You) ; and I have also promised to stop being on the defensive myself. So back to Stormie, she specifically referred to praying to God to change You first before, he begins to work on the Boyfriend. WHOAH..

So before I wrote this post I asked myself, what is honestly wrong with me. I feel like I have not done anything wrong, he is always in the wrong I said. So, it finally came to me that maybe I can start praying about the things that he vocally complains about me. (Thank God my guy is vocal about such)

  1. Time Keeping; I did not think it was that big of a deal, until I recalled the expression that he has on his face when I’m late for a date, or spending hours doing my makeup, or not prepared for anything when he comes over. The expression is one that says that he wants to wrap me in a ball and throw me off the balcony. (My guy wants a girlfriend who keeps time or at least shows an effort to keep time)
  2. Organized; I must confess I am not organized AT ALL!!! Like sometimes I like my mess because I can easily find my stuff through it. But I know how to hide so I do not think he has seen my mess full on (I’m one of those people who usually organize when someone is coming over)
    1. (a) The other thing that is in the organized categories is the finances. My finances are somewhat a mess. There are times when I have money and other times I am super broke…and I always tell myself that I’m only 23…lol…that is foolish, I know. So he keeps saying he does not mind but I am sure he does, it is not right I need to get myself together
  3. My phone is unavailable (most of the time) when he needs to talk to me and also when it is on, I do not pick (not intentionally of course). Do You know anyone like this? They really do not mind being offline. I honestly do not mind and I feel like I get a peace of mind. But it drives him mad…Super mad.
  4. I interrupt him a lot when he is talking. I just cannot seem to shut up! I am so opinionated and I need to understand that some I do not have to really talk and allow my man to feel like a man. Otherwise, we end up in a debate that is makes one of us angry.

So these are the areas that I am asking God to change in me. I am on my knees praying to God to deliver me from those weak points, I am physically going to work at it physically and keep a journal for progress. What are Your weak points that Your boyfriend keeps complaining about?

P.S: And lastly, if you’re still thinking ‘He also has weaknesses’, my response is, let’s be humble, come off our high horse and deal with OURS, then we shall deal with his later.

PRAYER TIME!

  1. Let go of your anger towards him and forgive him; MARK 11:24-25; Ephesians 4:32 Galatians 6:9
  2. Get on your knees with your pure heart and start praying for Yourself.

This is a sample prayer template which I also borrowed and tweaked from Stormie, you can also modify to suit You.

Oh LORD, I come to You today thanking You for everything that You have given me, the blessings and the love that I receive each and every day. I thank You for the fact that I actually know You or Lord. Thank You for the fact that I am in a relationship with (boyfriend’s name). Thank You for having made us meet for I know that it was no coincidence, for You know all things before they even happen. Lord I kneel down before You today to ask You to help me a good girlfriend for I do not know how to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience and irritability and turn them into kindness, long suffering and the willing ness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mind sets automatic reactions, rude assumptions and self-protective stance and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. TAKE AWAY THE HARDNESS OF MY HEART AND BREAK DOWN THE WALLS I HAVE BUILT. Give me a new heart and work in me Your JOY, PEACE and LOVE.

Show me where there is sin in my heart with regard to (boyfriend’s name) and help me change and transform from being (mention Your weaknesses). Only YOU can change me Lord and make me new. I confess that there are times when I have been critical unloving, judgmental, unsupportive, resentful, rude and mean. I also have built up anger and disappointment towards him but lift all those feelings from my heart. Let me forgive him totally and FORGET. Let the way we COMMUNICATE rise to another level and let us be able to understand each other

Make me (boyfriend’s name) helpmate, companion, friend and number one fan. Let him feel peaceful restful and safe when he is with me. Let me learn how to care for myself and stay attractive to him with utter confidence in spirit, mind and soul. Make him proud of me as his girlfriend.

I lay all my expectations of (boyfriend’s name) at the Cross and release him of the burden of fulfilling me in the areas where I should be looking unto You. Let me accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he might not change but at the same time, I ask You to release him to change in ways that I never thought he could I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and only You are.

Teach me how to pray for my boyfriend and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way that he can truly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we are in agreement about everything. Make us a team not pursuing separate, competitive or independent lives but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the relationship.

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another may grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to head our relationship as You made him to be and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise Breathe Your life into this relationship

Make me a new person Lord and Give me a fresh perspective, a positive, outlook and a renewed relationship with the man You have given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion and acceptance. Give my boyfriend a new girlfriend and let that girlfriend be me.

In Jesus’ name I Pray

AMEN!

Feel free to comment down below

xxxxx

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Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary HandShare Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

 

Would you like to share your story to inspire Christian singles?

  • What relationship lessons have you learned?
  • How have you grown in God during the season of singleness?
  • Got a funny first date story that will make someone smile?
  • Have parenting tips for the single mom?
  • Can you encourage Christian singles over 40?

Even in times when we feel we have nothing much to contribute, we are in fact affecting the lives of others all around us.

But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Exodus 17:12 ESV)

It doesn’t take great feats to help someone else on their journey. Aaron and Hur simply supported the hands of Moses. They lifted his hands high when Moses became weary. As long as the hands of Moses were held up, Joshua and Israel prevailed.

For the last 7 years or so I have shared many stories of my Christian single journey. However, I truly believe that the greatest words of inspiration have come from you.

Many have chosen to share your story through guest blogging and comments. I have read every one and so have others. These words have been gems to the weary heart.

My prayer is that Abundantly You continue to be a strong platform for inspiration for singles. But that will not happen without you.

I am currently looking for writers/guest bloggers to contribute to Abundantly You. You do not have to be a blogger or professional writer to contribute. We’ve all had battles to overcome. We are all fighting some kind of battle now.

Lend your voice and hold up a weary hand.

 

Share Your Story and Hold Up a Weary Hand

Your guest post is not restricted to the subject of singleness. Anything that will empower, make us think, or make us laugh is welcome.

In return I want to promote what you are doing in the Kingdom of God. Perhaps you would like to share your blog, book or other accomplishments. I welcome your words!

I will share 2 to 3 links within your article or in your bio that will lead Abundantly You readers to where you are. Share your business, your book, etc. Share your story.

If you feel more comfortable sharing your story anonymously, that is fine too. 🙂

Here’s a quick rundown of guest post guidelines:

  • A minimum of 500 words
  • Include a short bio (Optional)
  • Include a photo (Optional)
  • Include your web site or social media link (Optional)
  • All guest posts, articles, and linked pages will be vetted to make sure it aligns with the heart of Abundantly You.

God bless you all and I look forward to hearing from you! Submit your article(s) to gospelnewmedia@gmail.com. Feel free to email me with any questions or to simply chat!

Love you to life!
~Candra Evans
Abundantly You for Christian Singles and More

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Abundantly You Inc welcomes guest bloggers to come, write, and share! If you would like to write for AU or invite Candra to speak at your event, submit your information on our contact page.
GospelNewMedia@gmail.com
Mailing address: P.O. Box 128787
Cincinnati, Ohio 45212
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True Love Waits Jewelry Giveaway, Christian Singles Updates, July Giveaway winner

First I want to announce the Love and Grace for Christian singles July giveaway winner!!!

Congrats to Samantha G. for winning the Kindle edition of Pastor Sheryl Brady’s book, “You Have It In You! Empowered to do the impossible”!!!

Now for some Love and Grace news…

On August 24th, 2013 I will have the opportunity to speak with my good friend Rob McWilliams and other saved Christian singles on the “Saved and Single” conference call.  Every second and fourth Saturday singles from around the world dial in for a time of encouragement via testimony, Word, and prayer.  I will be sharing my online dating experience.  It was an interesting journey, so tune in!

Each conference call begins at 7:07 PM Central Time.  If you would like more information about the Save and Single Ministry, click the link down below.

Also coming up, you will be hearing from more guest bloggers!  Not everyone’s singles journey is the same, so it is important to share the testimony’s of our struggles.  Someone needs to read that their heart can be healed.  Someone needs to hear that God strengthens single parents.  Someone wants to know that finding love again, is possible.  Do you have a story to share?  Email me through my contact page.

August True Love Waits Jewelry Giveaway for Christian Singles!

This month I am giving away this very pretty silver plated bracelet.  The words “True Love Waits” are engraved around the bracelet.  It has three elegant silver, bronze, and gold charms that also read, “True” “Love” “Waits”.

To enter is simple.  Use the Rafflecopter widget below.  You must first subscribe to Love and Grace.  Once you have done that or if you are already a subscriber, simply verify your email address.  Afterwards you can earn extra entries, including tweeting about the giveaway daily.

This giveaway will run until August 31st, 2013.  When the giveaway ends I will contact the winner within three days.  The winner will then have 48 hours to reply with their mailing address so I can send them the bracelet.  If the winner does not reply within 48 hours I will randomly select another winner.  So make sure you look for my email. 😉

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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I love you all and I continue to pray for you on your Christian singles journey! – Candra

Shop for True Love Waits jewelry on Amazon.

True Love Waits Stainless Steel Ring (4.5 mm) – Size 6.0

True Love Waits Inside Stainless Steel Purity Ring

True Love Waits Awareness Wristbands

True Love Waits – Purity – Military Dog Tag Black Satin Cord Necklace

 

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Saved and Single Ministries…”Living our life for Jesus Christ”. Click here to see the full prayer conference call schedule!